Hello beautiful souls! Rebekkah LaDyne (somatic therapist and author of The Mind-Body Stress Reset) joins me on the podcast to talk about healing your whole self, mind and body. In our discussion today, we learn about the balance of talk therapy as well as somatic therapy when it comes to healing, ways to break generational trauma, and how healing yourself can also benefit the whole collective. Rebekkah says the process of healing doesn’t have to be an ‘all or nothing’ approach and gives methods for making it realistic and doable.
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Her book The Mind-Body Stress Reset is available at all major book retailers
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Julie Jancius 01:44
Hello, beautiful souls. Welcome back to the Angels and Awakening podcast. I’m your host and author, Julie Jancius. And today we have the author of the book, The Mind Body Stress Reset Somatic Practices to Reduce Overwhelm and Increase Well Being. Please welcome with me to the show. Rebecca lay dine.
So glad to be here. Thank you. It’s nice to see you. And I’m glad to have this conversation with you.
Julie Jancius 02:16
Of course you’re around the world over in Sweden. What’s it like over there right now?
Well, it is just after a big snowfall that we had. So there was well, by some standards, maybe Colorado standards, it’s not that much snow, but we had about two feet, I got to go out cross country skiing, and enjoy the sunshine. And now it’s a nice gray day and it’s warmer. So the snow is starting to melt. Yeah, yeah.
Julie Jancius 02:46
So I’m gonna start this interview off in a different place. Because I want people in my listeners to kind of understand where I’m coming from, in having this interview. I read this book, it’s called The Molecule of More, Daniel Lieberman. And what he kind of gets to in this book, and the conclusion we’re going to have him on the show is that you have this egoic mind, or I think that you call it the fear brain. And this fear brain, this egoic mind, it just wants more, more, more, more more. And, and this is the dopamine within all human beings wanting this more, more, more more. And I’ve seen a couple authors lately, him being one of them. Take us to a point where they’re saying, Listen, the reason that Earth is on this kind of Crash Course trajectory of we’re using up all of the resources here is because we are not bringing balance and harmony into our lives with this more, more, more and more and more mentality. Where does it end? Right? Like, where do we use up all of Earth’s resources? Is that the place that we’re all going to? And, and so
Our resources as humans, that’s a big if, as well
Julie Jancius 04:21
Say that, again.
Or all of our individual resources as humans like I’m using if I use up all my resources, which is a word we use a lot in somatic therapy, we’re going to go straight into that stress brain and not be able to come back out.
Julie Jancius 04:37
Talk to us about that. What is that like individual resources?
Yes. So what you were saying the molecule of more driving us to kind of keep going because of those surges of dopamine, that’s a kind of a pleasure neurochemical makes us feel like if I get some more, I’m going to feel better. But on the other side of that, there’s This cortisol, which is this displeasure, neuro chemical or this stress neuro chemical, and we will get kind of surges of cortisol when we’re in stress and surges of dopamine when we’re in resource, okay? And so we can also get negative surges of dopamine, like if I go online and I buy a whole bunch of stuff that I can’t afford, I’m still going to get some dopamine, but it’s going to be paralleled with cortisol, if I start to think, oh, gosh, when that credit card bill comes, right, we want to balance like you’re saying the earth needs balance, we want to balance our internal system with our stress, we could say cortisol, and our ease or resource or pleasure, we could say dopamine. So internally, we need to do the same thing that the earth’s ecosystem is telling us to do, which is, we can only take so much from ourselves, we can only take so much from the earth without replenishing, or we don’t function. Okay. So that’s the idea that we humans need balance to function well. And clearly the earth needs balance to function.
Julie Jancius 06:06
Absolutely. And that’s exactly where I was going with this, because started coming up and coming through channeling wise, is that, you know, this is the year of ease, and that all humans have to understand how to come back to this ease within ourselves. Because this is the point that a lot of folks who are very advanced within the scientific community, who are very great thinkers here on Earth, this is the place that they’re bringing us all to right here right now, which is do what you were just saying, we have to bring in balance and harmony. And I love how you said not just within the world or for the world, but for ourselves and, and somatic work, your work that you have been working on for years does this in a way that talk therapy doesn’t– I mean, talk therapy is great, but it really doesn’t bring in these tools of balance and harmony in the way that we feel a complete reset within our bodies. Am I correct on that?
You’re spot on? That’s exactly what can happen with intensive talk therapy is that we are guided as talk therapists to kind of investigate and probe. I remember one of my colleagues who had been a talk therapist for 35 years when she and I were both students in the somatic therapy program together. And she was saying, Oh, my gosh, this is so opposite. The approach of somatic therapy is to find ease between the moments of stress in the conversation with clients and talk therapy is asking, let’s look further, let’s look deeper. Let’s see what else is there. Let’s excavate. And I think in some mind bodies, some humans that excavation can be okay. But I think that if you’re a person that has some trauma, if you’re a person that has some extreme stress, I put that in the same side as trauma, that excavation that intensity is probably going to overwhelm your system and make healing bot possible.
So I loved when you said were being brought to ease my whole body melted for a second, ah, just Yes, that’s one of my favorite words in the whole world. We humans need ease, we need it just as much as all the other wonderful, exciting, productive, fascinating thinking, goal oriented things we do, which are great, I love doing those things. But if we don’t balance it with ease, we burn out. Or we just turn into such a ball of stress that we kind of burn out everyone around us.
Julie Jancius 08:50
100%. So that’s where I want to understand better. And I don’t want people to think that we don’t need, you know, talk therapy, because I think there’s a balance where that helped me so incredibly much within my marriage, to get to understand how to create boundaries, to get to understand different parts of myself, but there are so many different tools that we need on a healing journey. And somatic therapy has been one for me, that really brings a more full healing to the individual. That’s my interpretation of it, or perception of it, as I’ve kind of witnessed it.
I think you’re right. And I think it’s– I’m glad you say that talk therapy is and can be so beneficial for so many. So I’m a champion of narrative or talking and discovering. And in somatic therapy, we use lots of talking and lots of discovering, but we try to balance it with the ease and the feeling and the resourcing as we were saying before and so the idea is– I also want to say I just wanted to say also that nowadays, it’s becoming more and more commonplace that all therapists, also pure talk therapists are bringing resource into their work. So in a way, what I was talking about this woman we trained together many years ago, and she had been working for 35 years. So we’re going back a long way. And I want to say that the whole field is evolving all the time. And each individual therapist is evolving all the time. So I am not here to say this is good or bad, and, and in any way slay anyone. I just want to protect people that are wanting to heal, who might feel like gosh, when I dive into my stories and memories quickly and deeply, something happens in my body that I don’t know how to handle and I don’t know how to come back from it. My body keeps doing this thing which we could call a stress reaction. Yeah, like you’re saying it’s kind of more whole, more, more full healing, because we’re gaining all these important insights in the mind, which is what traditional therapy has always done so beautifully. But we’re also helping the body to integrate those insights, recover from them. Because oftentimes, in therapy, we gain insights into things that have been hard for us. We, as human beings, put things aside, unconsciously, but intentionally, because they’re too much for us to process at the time.
So it’s a brilliant strategy skill that we have our nervous system, our survival brain says put it aside, that’s for later. And most people find that 10 years down the line, 20 years down the line, even 30 years down the line, that thing that was too much comes right back up to the surface and tries to knock at the door, maybe it knocks your heart, maybe it knocks at the door of your mind, maybe it knocks at the door of your marriage, something keeps going wrong here and wrong, what’s the problem. And that’s where we take those memories back out and look at them. And they feel, again, really uncomfortable. That’s why our stress brain put them aside to begin with. So it’s not just that they think uncomfortable, right? They don’t just sound uncomfortable in our mind, they feel uncomfortable in our whole body. And that’s what somatic therapy includes is the all bodily experience of what it feels like to have lived through some really hard things. And then it includes the body, and how to recover from those really challenging painful things that we’ve been through. That’s why it’s so much, maybe I don’t want to say more complete, but that’s why it’s beautifully complete healing mind and body.
Julie Jancius 12:50
Well, it’s fascinating, because I know you don’t know much about what I do. But I started out in energy healing and going through getting my energy healing certification. And what Spirit talks about is when you’re working with energy healing, or going through that type, of course, it’s a silent practice, right? That just works with the energy of the physical body. But when you can bring through messages and channel from the other side, there’s a peace and an ease that comes into people because they’re, you’re working with the mind’s energy and the body’s energy, and you’re kind of putting it together. So you have like that more whole healing there. And that’s what I see with somatic therapy, too. You’re taking the talking piece, working with the mind, working with the frequencies of the body, putting it all together, and you have that very whole healing. And I thought it was really fascinating what you brought up, because there are so many people who are like, Julie, I thought I have worked through this, you know, I did my therapy, I did this, and I felt better for 10 years or something. And then it rears back up. And I think that when you really stand back and look at the whole human being, there is this element of the energy within the physical body, the energy with the mind, and we have to work with both in order to bring that more full healing to the individual.
I think that’s really well said and I, I think the idea in kind of my brain when I hear you say, getting that information from the other side, I think, yeah, that’s what we would call co regulation or co-dysregulation. So when all is well in my nervous system and all as well in your nervous system, even though we are 1000s and 1000s of miles apart, we can feel that that’s co regulation with each other. If you’re someone really important to me, or for example, my daughters this has happened many times I’m sure you’ve had the same thing happen with people you love dearly. Sometimes they’re not near me. They’re far away, and something’s going I’m with them. And I feel it. Because they’re that important to my heart, my body knows something’s going on. I don’t know what it is yet, but I’m going to find them and find out. That’s co-dysregulation. That’s the way that my nervous system is linked to their nervous system is so intertwined, beautifully connected, that we feel each other.
I think also, it’s quite obvious that when, when you walk into a room, and the room has just had a really tough thing happen, you know, like, let’s say, you walk into a shop, and someone’s just tried to shoplift something and gotten caught, you walk into that shop, and you feel oh, whoa, what’s going on in here doesn’t feel safe, it doesn’t feel calm, it doesn’t feel good, I feel scared, I’m just walking in to get some gum, and all of a sudden, I feel terrified. So that’s also a sensing of the field that we’re in sensing of the environment that we’re in. And this can happen on a much larger scale. I think that, in a way, we all had this really well, I don’t know what all but many of us have this really amazing experience. During the pandemic, when things got really still, a lot of my clients, were saying a lot of my colleagues were saying, I feel a shift in my body I haven’t felt in years and years, or maybe ever feel the larger field or environment of the world, which had gotten very still for a scary reason. But still, there was a beautiful stillness that took place. And we knew it. And so that’s what I think of as energies coming in is, our nervous systems are attuned to our direct environment and this larger world all the time. They’re always scanning what’s going on.
And I’ll also say that there’s a wonderful body of work in somatic therapy called generational trauma. And it really understands that we can carry wounding from our parents, their parents and their parents. Can I share with you this beautiful study that was done?
Julie Jancius 17:06
I love that. Yes. Okay,
There’s this beautiful study that was done with mice, right. So that’s something that does happen in psychological studies. And the first generation, their cage was flooded with a strong odor, right before they would get a little zap little shock, not nothing that would kill them at all, but just a noticeable feeling. And they repeated, the scientists repeated that flood the cage with a smell, give a little physical, noticeable, shock, noticeable experience. And over time, they repeated it so many times that after a while, they could just flood the cage and the mice would go into a stress response. And they measure this on their cortisol levels, right, that stress chemical that I was talking about before. And they would go into that freeze response, right? Like, oh, gosh, what’s going to happen without any shock taking place their body remembered, and then those that first generation all had babies, and they didn’t administer ever, they didn’t administer a shock to those babies. But when they would flood their habitat with a smell, those mice would have a cortisol response. And they were going to freeze and then they did it again with the third generation. So it’s been established for sure with three generations and really very reputable studies. And some people say it can even go four or five generations in some different studies that they’ve done. So we know for sure that I can carry a stress reaction to something that my parents lived through, I can also carry for sure, a stress reaction to something that my grandparents lived through. And it’s not as though it has to be exactly the same thing. Our brains are so seeking for similar enough just to be in an environment that my stress brain recognizes, well, this is as intense as what was really difficult for mom or dad or grandma or grandpa, or this is as out of control as mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, this is as surprising, right? We look for all of those different ways that the nervous system gets thrown up, and it passes down.
Julie Jancius 19:27
Yeah. And scientifically that would make sense from an evolutionary standpoint that we’re passing down what’s going to keep us safe and secure. And we’re passing down, you know what to be careful of, and, and it’s all within our physical energy, but to 99.9% probably of the population. This is a subconscious thing. It’s not like most people are looking at this and being like, okay, exactly what did my grandparents go through? And what vibrations did they pick up as they did, that they passed down to my parents that they passed down to me? This is very, very subconscious.
Very, but we need to ask ourselves those questions, especially if we have persistent stress responses. If we have persistent anxiety, and we’re doing all we can to help our life be resourced, like you said, to find ease, like you said, and we still have persistent anxiety, what is going on? What’s your persistent depression? You know, or persistent insomnia or persistent, you know, digestive upset all the things that people can struggle with? We need to ask, okay, is this mine? Right? And in your language? Are these messages from the other side? And in my language? Is this inherited trauma or inherited stress reaction? You need to ask, if you’re a person, hey, listeners, if you’re a person who struggles with persistent symptoms, stress symptoms of some kind, and you can’t figure out why. Look, look at the generation before you in the generation before them. so valuable, so helpful.
Julie Jancius 21:08
So in your book, does it take you through questions to ask where or do you start question wise to start to look at that stress? And I guess I’m wondering, too, is what should we be looking at, because part of it is looking at the way that the body responds to fear looking at your stress responses within yourself. But there’s a lot here to break it down of like, where do you begin?
Okay, so yes, the book goes through many questionnaires to help folks understand, where does my stress tend to show up? So you get to ask, okay, I don’t have to memorize, but I’m just gonna give a couple examples. It’s like, I did these kinds of binaries. Like, is it when I’m traveling, but I’m stressed? Is it when I’m at home? Is it when I’m alone? Is it when I’m with people? Is it when I’m at work? Is it when I’m on vacation? These are just themes? Is it when I’m in conflict with my most close people? Is it when I’m not in conflict with most close people, which I know that sounds weird. But there are people, for example, whose generations before them have lived in such intense, ongoing conflict, that when they live their life here, and they’re not in conflict, something feels off. And that’s something that can be healed somatically that person ends up moving through the world in what we might call a fight reactivity, and creating conflict everywhere. And they’re like, I want to break this habit. I am not enjoying my life in this right reaction. Right? So that’s one example.
But then there’s also like, well, what are these reactions? What is fight? What is flight? What is freeze? What is shutdown in their questionnaires in the book that go through? Do you have a lot of excessive heat that shows up? When you’re stressed? You get really cold? Do you suffer from insomnia? Do you fall asleep for days? Do you get really hungry? Can you not eat at all? It’s really list after list of questions to identify what in the book I call your stress signature. Everybody has a stress signature and getting to know it is so helpful on your journey to healing it. Because like you said, these are hugely unconscious experiences. And so we can walk through the day going, I feel stressed. But I don’t know what is stressing me out. And I’m not even sure what it is in my body or mind that’s making me feel stressed or kind of quote, unquote, giving me the knowledge that I feel stressed. But I know it’s here. And so we need to learn about what happens in your body when you’re stressed. What happens in your heart, what happens in your mind? And then there are tools in the book for each of those stress signatures, what to do, how to approach yourself and, and choices in each tool section. Try this, try it this way, you know many varieties of how to help your body and your mind find ease, that wonderful word you said before?
Julie Jancius 24:21
Yeah, one thing that was coming to mind from the angels, as you were talking is you know, heart disease runs in my family on both sides. Mom and Dad, dad, grandma, grandpa, grandma on the other side. And whenever I have a lot of stress, I always say that like I feel like there’s an elephant on my chest. I feel like my heart is like the first thing that it goes to and what I was hearing as you were talking is if you can figure out what your stress signatures are. It can actually be very healing long term, I would think to the physical body, where you could help yourself not have that same heart disease that maybe your ancestors did. Because you’re not managing, like working with the stressors in your life in a different way than your ancestors did.
Absolutely. There’s such a well-researched link between stress, and the big diseases that so many folks in our culture suffer from. So that’s the heart disease, the blood pressure, the diabetes. And then you get into the more subtle, you know, blood diseases and physiological kind of systemic, like the Crohn’s and the chronic fatigue. Those are diseases that absolutely have a strong link to stress, and there’s more of them. So, by lessening your stress response, you will definitely make yourself healthier on the whole. And you really have the potential to undo that stress signature that you just described that goes back generations in your family.
Julie Jancius 26:14
So I don’t know if you can speak to this, but you’re touching on a point where I’m at with my own journey, like I know that my grandmother has had major trauma in her life, she lost her grandmother, when she was 12 years old, had to become the caregiver in her house, because she had a younger sister and all their brothers. So cook, cleaner, mother, and I can see where she wasn’t able to heal, and she ended up having that heart disease and diabetes. My mom, I think, did the best that she could growing up with a mom that didn’t know how to be like, emotional with her. And then me third generation, here I am. And I, I see my body being the same, like grandma’s body, mom’s body, my body, all very much interconnected and are linked and that diabetes runs in the family. Heart disease. So yeah, I’m just wondering when it comes to the diabetes piece, how does that tie in? Where it can be intergenerational? From the stress?
Yeah, this is a complicated explanation. And I might get some of the details right and some wrong, but basically, what happens is that when we have high levels of stress, we are secreting cortisol throughout the day. And adrenaline. Adrenaline is meant to be short, that kind of like, short term burst. And cortisol is like, Okay, we got to get through this intense longer term, maybe month long famine, and then move on with our healthier troops, clan, tribe, all those things. When we have high levels of stress hormone in our blood, we are more easily able to pick up sugars as quickly as possible, our body goes, we’re having so much stress, we probably don’t have time for lots of healthy meals. And we need quick energy, because maybe we need to run for our life or fight for life. So let’s pick up as much sugar from our bloodstream as quickly as possible. And then we’re straining that balance in our bloodstream that’s supposed to be there, right? We’re only supposed to absorb a certain amount of sugars at a certain time. And so our glucose is all over the place, and our insulin is all over the place. And those are basically what causes diabetes. Now, a medical professional would give you a much more detailed response. But as a somatic therapist in a nutshell, stress throws off your blood sugars and persistently having your blood sugars thrown off, leads to diabetes.
Julie Jancius 29:20
This is really fascinating. And I want people to break this down and visualize this within their heads because what you’re saying here is that and I would assume it’s the same for the heart, right? That it’s not something happening directly to the heart. It is the cortisol levels that’s impacting the heart.
Think about it if your blood pressure is going, you know, extraordinarily high every time you think, am I going to be late for my next appointment? Think about if you every time you think, how come my husband’s not home yet, your blood pressure shoots through the roof. Your heart is having to work so much harder and so much more in tensely than it’s designed to for prolonged periods of time because your stress signature keeps performing this reaction inside of you.
So the big thing here, this is something I write about in the book in more detail. So I’m going to give a tiny bit of it here. But our nervous system, our bodies designed to go through stress and have a beginning, middle, and end. We are supposed to see this is you know, see there’s a tiger, decide I have enough distance from it to run and get away, get to safety and recognize, I am safe and that tiger can not get me up here. And now I’m going to take a big breath and relax and just count my blessings. We’re designed to go through beginning middle end, are designed to have stress responses to actual views in our environment. But humans have the ability to psychologically or mentally scare themselves with thoughts. Every bit as much as we wouldn’t be scared if a lion was chasing us, we can scare ourselves into a full blown, what we call flight reaction, right? Fleeing running for our lives, standing in a room full of people that we have to give a public speaking speech to that we don’t want to talk to, or that we feel afraid, we can have the same reaction physically. And it’s something that we can revisit, not even being in the room with people about to give a big conference, talk to 500 people, or 5000, or whatever it is that bothers you listeners. We can just think, oh, my gosh, tomorrow’s my talk to 5 million people. And then our heart can just explode into reactivity. Okay. And we can do that. We all have our things, a lot of people have public speaking. So I use it as an example. But we can do that, throughout the day with our things, those things that scare you, those things overwhelm you, those things that lead you to feel insecure, those things that just make you feel angry, we all have those things. And if we’re going into stress reaction all day, and it doesn’t have a middle or an end, because it’s psychological, that has a beginning, our body is suffering. And so part of what the book talks about is okay, we’re not going to get rid of this psychological stress trigger. But we’re gonna learn how to have a middle, and an end with those psychological stresses that come up. So the book really teaches that.
Julie Jancius 32:49
That’s huge. That is so huge for people. So I want to just kind of wrap, like, kind of tie up some loose ends and then hop into something new. But so where people might have been thinking before, because I know I certainly was that, you know, okay, well, you have this generational trauma, and that is the heart disease being passed down or the diabetes being passed down. It has a carrier and the carrier is the stress and the stress is the connector. So deal with the stress, and you deal with the diabetes. And you deal with the stress. And you deal with the heart disease. That’s like huge aha moment, right there. Yes,
Yes. And it is we so we have agency, we have power, we don’t have control over ourselves, but we have a whole bunch of influence. And we can make things different in us. It takes work. And so I can see that you’re diligently working. I wrote this book because I diligently work on all these things too. But we can make change we can make lasting and really needed change in our bodies, our minds, our hearts. So yes.
Julie Jancius 34:00
Okay. So the stress doesn’t end, and it doesn’t end for most people. So I’m thinking back to your experiment with the mice or the rats that you were talking about where their ancestors got this stress response, and then the little zap and they learned to not like it. So they passed it down from generation to generation. Do we have like, are we at a point with our collective consciousness that so many people have been through so much over the last couple 100 years, that we’re all flowing and these vibrations all day long is that way the stress isn’t ending? And then I guess you compound that with the fact that our day really doesn’t end we’re now– I think back to the 1990s and you did business based on your timezone. We don’t do business like that anymore. Somebody could be living in San Francisco but working in China and on their time clock, and our works are wanting us to be on 24/7. You know, something comes up, and we have to manage it right away.
The expectation, right?
Julie Jancius 35:12
Yes. So is it kind of a combo that we are in this new day and age where the cortisol just doesn’t turn off naturally anymore?
Gosh, I think you said it very well, I think you really hit it that we are as a larger culture habituated to living in our own persistent stress reaction and living among everyone else’s persistent stress reaction, it’s become normal. And I think it’s true that we really need a culture wide shift, we really need to prioritize that word, you said, ease, we need to make it as important as all the other things that we know are important. And it’s reflected, in my opinion, in our Earth, you brought that up so beautifully right at the beginning. We’re taking too much. And we’re taking it on a 24 hour cycle. And when we’re taking it from the earth, we’re taking it from each other, we’re taking it from ourselves. It’s not sustainable in any system. Sometimes people think, Gosh, I’ll be a selfish person, if I learn to find ease, or I’ll be a self indulgent, you know, some people say, like navel gazer, for example, if I just look into the inherited trauma from my parents, or grandparents, but what I would say is, actually you’re doing a service, you’re doing a service to everyone in your immediate family, to everyone that you work with to your community at large. And if more and more of us get out there or go in, take a journey in and see what we’re carrying. We’re going to change our collective little by little. And I think that’s absolutely unselfish. I think that’s absolutely generous. So the more we can learn to soothe ourselves, the more we’re actually helping everyone around us. Yeah.
Julie Jancius 37:16
Because you’re learning to find that middle and that end that other people don’t have. And yet what you just said, that is the harmony. That is the balance.
It is it is and I think, what I love about somatic work, because anybody that’s been through a lot of stress is going to say, well, I don’t think I could ever have a life that’s just in what we would call the middle of the balance, my life goes back and forth. And that’s the design, no problem. But we go back and forth, we go to the beginning of stresses, the middle of them, and the end of them, and then another one comes, and we go to the end of it, the problem is not having stress reactions, the problem is getting stuck in them. And the problem is not going through periods, really every day where we’re out of balance, the problem is living out of balance. So let’s visit intensity, and then come back. Let’s visit not so balanced, and then come back. Okay.
Julie Jancius 38:10
Yeah. Yeah. And that actually feels so incredibly good within my physical body right now. Because I feel like that’s something that can be done. A lot of times people talk about stress. And you think, Well, how do you even deal with that? How do you manage that? How do you come out of that, but you just nailed it, where middle and end and that’s doable, we can find a middle, we can turn it off? Seems to me kind of like a light switch or a dimmer, you know?
Definitely. Yeah, in some cases, with some reactions, it’s going to be a switch. We don’t need that one. I don’t need to be, you know, alarmed that the mail that I’m waiting for hasn’t come I don’t need to do that. I can turn that one off, or a dimmer. You know, my husband’s late again, and he was in traffic. So I’m just going to be a little bit, you know, aware until he walks through the door. Okay, no problem, right, like, dim it down. And so I’m not like he walks through the door or make sure that you, you know, text me every five minutes if you’re running late or something, I don’t have to– I can dim it down. Hey, yes. So and it’s I think it’s important that we don’t create stress about lessening our stress. So I love that you’re saying doable. I love that you’re saying manageable. We need to make this realistic. We need to bring it right down. Let’s not do it on a 24 hour cycle. Let’s not constantly be working on ourselves on this. Let’s attend to our well being with compassion and patience and self acceptance. Let’s be nice to ourselves and to each other, as we find those middles and ends
Julie Jancius 39:54
Yeah, I like in your book how you teach people to that it’s not about like all learn nothing, exactly what you’re just setting, you don’t have to turn the light switch on and off, you really teach people that if you just inch your way forward or just notice like a little percentage shift within your being, you’re doing really, really good things, positive things in your body.
Yes, it’s really true. It’s actually yeah, I really appreciate that you picked up on so many of these little pieces of the book. And you’re right, it is exactly that if we inch forward, and we begin to notice, oh, I’m a little bit less tense about this move that I need to do, from one position to the next at work. That’s nice, that little bit less tension that feels good. If we give ourselves the gift of noticing and feeling a little bit less stressed, a little bit less fearful, a little bit less angry, a little bit less, kind of like, intense, all of those things help our nervous system feel like, what the word that I use a lot in the book is okayness or even, okay enoughness. And those little gifts to our nervous system, actually are what begin to reset our baseline. Okay, if we have a baseline that’s like living in that, I just feel intense all the time about everything, we’re going to function at, you know, on a scale of one to 10, we’re going to be functioning at like a seven and a half, and we just wake up in the morning. And then if something difficult happens, we’re at a 12 or 15. Or function for good parts of the day around five around for around three. And so the little bit less than turning the volume down on the intensity is plenty, is a beautiful gift to yourself and your community, anybody that comes into contact with you.
Julie Jancius 41:54
And this is where I think it ties in within the spiritual community, when people are like, raise your vibration or keep your vibration high, we’re talking about the exact same thing, the more you keep your stress at a two or three of four, instead of a 12 or 15. You’re keeping your vibration higher, you are in more ease. And as you’re in more ease. To your point earlier with the mice. What you know we learned in spirituality is that your community feels it. The people within your household feel when you’re at a two or three or four. Or if you’re at a 12 or 15 your coworkers feel it your neighbors feel it your friends, your family members. And so when we turn down our dial, it seems like when you throw a pebble inside a lake
Oh, that’s right. Yeah. It’s like ripples.
Julie Jancius 42:58
Like if I’m in ease, and I’m a to three or four than my co workers may be feel more safety to be a two three four. And my family’s feels more safety to be there and friends that and so it started regulation,
Right? That is it. That’s us feeling each other’s nervous systems, which we do below consciousness all day long. So if I’m lending my nervous system to the group at a two, I’m given a gift to the group. And if I’m lending my nervous system to the group at a 15, it’s not very helpful to the group, unless we all need to run for our lives. If we all need to run for our lives. Let’s all amp up and go. But that’s very seldom the case.
Julie Jancius 43:42
Yeah. And I want to make this point to all the healers, because there’s a lot of healers who listen to the show and I teach mediumship and how to bring through Angel messages and energy healing in my Angel Reiki school. And we talk a lot about this about how you have to be and you know, high vibration yourself and show up with the energy that you’re you want your clients to feel because they’re gonna feel that coming off of you. And this is exactly what we mean.
And this is really beautiful, because what happened in your grandmother’s life when her mom died, is that she all of a sudden lost the vibration of a mother, a caregiver that she needed. And we human beings are designed to feel each other’s vibrations or co-regulate. We’re designed to sense each other’s nervous systems and if all of a sudden it’s not available. It’s like you just took the floor out from underneath someone and they have to quickly put all of their own pieces together without any connection to that caregiver that they need. Because the design is to receive it from the caregiver. And that creates trauma. That means okay, my like you said doing the dishes and the cleaning and the mothering that your 12 year old grandmother had to do. That’s all going to be done in a stress response, that’s all going to be done without the vibrations that her body needs the co-regulation her body needs in order to do those things. healthfully easily, lovingly, and then it passes down stress reaction, the flooding of this experiment, right? I said the flooding of the of the scent, some people say it was rose, or some people say it was garlic, maybe they did both. But the flooding was when I give care, I got to be in stress. And that is the opposite of when when my vibration is high, and I’m giving you care, and your vibration can receive it. Care gets linked with things are okay, we’re okay here. Let’s do this together.
And that’s what’s happening all the time, it sounds like in your work. And in my work in somatic therapy, we’re a tuning we are co regulating with our clients, the whole session long. And it is often to replace some co regulation, some attunement, that was missing. Lots and lots of people for many different reasons are missing the building blocks they needed of getting that high vibration, getting that co-regulation often enough in their earliest years. And their nervous system has a difficult time self regulating now.
And that’s, that’s okay, the design is we’re all supposed to get so much consistent vibration, so much consistent care and co-regulation, when we’re young, that we begin to take on the job little by little over time, inching ourselves forward and feeling like I got this, I can do this, I can apply my self care to this slightly challenging moment at school, or with my brother or with my neighbor. But if it happens too fast, or like it did for your grandma, or the co-regulation isn’t available because of other stresses that are happening in mom’s life or in grandma’s life, our nervous system doesn’t feel like I’ve got this when it needs to meet challenges, it feels like I do not have this, this is too much for me, I don’t know what to do, I can’t. So that’s the kind of freeze shutdown. And then some people go in, I am going to make this happen, no matter what’s in my way, I will move it out of my way and make my life go. And that’s the fight reaction. Right.
So we need high vibration, we need co regulation to heal. It’s one of the essential building blocks. But here’s some good news. In the book, I talk about how we can increase our vibration or our regulation, even using our own nervous system to regulate with ourselves using imagery. So our wonderful stress brain is great with images. We all know that sometimes when we’re worried about something, something scary about that thing we’re worrying about pops in our mind. We can scare ourselves with images and have a physical response, heart speeds up adrenaline surges, start to sweat. We can do the same. We can soothe ourselves with images and have a physiological response. Dopamine comes in, heart slows down body temperature becomes comfortable. So using imagery is a wonderful and powerful way to create vibration in yourself. Even if you don’t have someone available to create it with you right now. Okay, because you might not sometimes we don’t have anyone available for longer periods of time. Sometimes we don’t have anyone available for just you know, that day that week. So I want everybody who’s listening to know, it’s great to have hybrid high vibrations with others whenever possible. And you can create it in yourself too. So it’s really available.
Julie Jancius 49:07
And that’s like a self hypnosis tool. When you’re using those, that imagery within yourself. You’re bringing yourself back to a different vibration that brings you into that ease that calm. That’s awesome.
Yeah, that’s lovely. Exactly. I love it. You have you’re talking about so many of the same tools I’m talking about. You’re just use different language for it. We call it image reconfiguration, but you’re calling it self hypnosis. So I think that’s fantastic. Those are the same ideas, using images to change your physical reaction to what you’re picturing in your mind. And then you create an imprint around that image, that physical response and it gets deeper and deeper because nowadays, if you were a person who was really really afraid of snakes, you don’t have to pull up the image of a snake for a long time and stare at it in your mind. Someone can just start to say the word ssss and then your body goes into reactivity. So the same thing is if you pull up soothing image, soothing image, you know, that sounds like feather, like for example, someone could just say “fe-” and your body goes here. You can just be yourself– or angel, right? You keep using the word angel, you can just pull up a, in your mind in your heart, just a quick little cue and the body goes, hmm, I’m okay. That’s how the self hypnosis in your word imagery, reconfiguration and my word, really tune into the body really imprint on the body.
Julie Jancius 50:40
This is amazing. So you and I are going to keep going for our Angel members. We’re going to do some tools for them. But I wanted you to tell everybody on the podcast where they can find you your book The Mind Body Reset. Yeah, where are you want to drive people to to find you and your work?
Okay, fantastic. I would love for you all to check out the book. I think it’s an easy read. I think it’s a funny read in places like I try to use some lightness and some humor. It’s not a dragged yourself through kind of a book. It’s available online, everywhere. It’s available in bookstores everywhere. There’s an audio book, there’s the written, there’s the ebook. I also have a website, RebekkahLaDyne.com. So you can see my name spelling, which is both of my first and last name are spelled confusingly. So just look that up in the show notes. And I think that’s what I can say to share for now, please, you know, just find out what works for you. And experiment with your own healing of your stress signature. It’s worth it. Yeah.
Julie Jancius 51:44
Amazing. Because then we’re not going to pass down those vibrations to our kids. Exactly. That’s where this cycle ends with us.
Every day that motivates me. I am serious. Every day that motivates me. I am–the buck stops here stops here. Exactly.
Julie Jancius 52:02
Amazing. Thank you so much, Rebecca, for all your work.
That’s your pleasure. Thank you for this great conversation. So great to talk with you.
Julie Jancius 52:08
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