Hello beautiful souls! Amy Low resides in a room that is her last—her medical team is clear-eyed with her: there is no cure for Stage IV metastatic colon cancer, and the odds of long-term survival are scant. Miraculously, she’s lived four years with her diagnosis, and that life between life has changed her. Through the swirl of prolonged trauma and unbearable grief, a vantage point emerged—a window that showed her the way to relish life and be kinder to herself and others while living through the inevitable loss and heartbreak that crosses everyone’s paths. Instead of viewing joy and sorrow as opposites, she saw how both exist in harmony, full of mystery and surprise. Instead of seeing days as succeeding or failing, and physical selves as healthy or unwell, she’s learned to carry both achievements and afflictions in stride. And instead of bitterness and betrayal, forgiveness—toward her body, toward others, toward herself—became her wisest truth.

To learn more about Amy Low’s work:
Amy’s book The Brave In-Between: Notes from the Last Room
[Substack] @amylow
[IG] @amylow112

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TRANSCRIPT

Julie Jancius: I hope you feel the warmth and love coming from your Angels with the messages they’re bringing to you in this episode.

Amy Low: So she sat on the bed with me, and then she looked at me and she said, I want you to know something. I want you to know that you are going to be prayed for by thousands of people who you haven’t even met yet. And they are going to play such an important role in your story. And I am here on behalf of them because I never want you to have a day where you’re going to doubt it.

Julie Jancius: Hello, beautiful souls. You’re listening to the Angels and Awakening podcast. I’m, your host and author, Julie Jancius. Did you know that you can listen to this show everywhere podcasts are found? It’s true. Now I have three free gifts just for you. First gift, I give away a new reading each week to a person who’s left a five star positive review of this show, then submitted it to me using the contact form@theangelmedium.com. contact I hope I’m calling your number next. Second gift if you’d like a new daily angel message, join me on insta at angelpodcast. Third free gift. If you’d like to know the name of one of your guardian angels so that you can work with them even more closely, go to the homepage of my website, theangelmedium.com, and submit your contact info at the very top. I’ll email you back personally with the name of one of your Angels. Okay, as we begin the show, I want you to feel the presence of your Angels surrounding you. And just know that the loving, positive messages you resonate with today are messages for you from your Angels and loved ones on the other side. Hello, beautiful souls. Welcome back to the Angels and Awakening podcast. I’m your host and author, Julie Jancius. And friends, today we have a beautiful angel story from none other than author Amy Lowe herself. She’s got a new book out. It’s called the Brave in between notes from the last room and friends. if you listen to the podcast, you know, I don’t normally read descriptions, but this one is so powerful, I need to kind of preface today, so I’m going to read this description. Amy Low resides in a room that is her last. Her medical team is clear eyed. With her, there is no cure for stage five metastatic colon cancer, and the odds of long term survival are scant meticulously. She’s lived for four years with her diagnosis, and that life between life has changed her through the swirl of prolonged trauma and unbearable grief. A vantage point emerged, a window that showed her the way to relish life and be kinder to herself and others while living through the inevitable loss and heartbreak that crosses everyone’s path. Instead of viewing joy and sorrow as opposites, she saw how both exist in harmony, full of mystery and surprise. Instead of seeing days as succeeding or failing and physical selves as healthy or unwell, she learned to carry both achievements and afflictions in. In stride. And instead of bitterness and betrayal, forgiveness towards her body, towards others, towards herself, became her wisest light.

Amy Low: Oh.

Julie Jancius: mapping her experiences to the world that Saint Paul wrote in his last room, the Brave in between, is a sacred invitation to explore that space between triumph and tragedy. We all have a heart to marvel at miracles, a lightness to spot the absurdity, and an imagination to pause and extend Empathy for others. Oh, I don’t know if I can even get this. Get through this last set.

Amy Low: It’s so much. I know.

Julie Jancius: even when tragedy strikes, sometimes we just need a guide. Oh, my God, Amy. Like, and I saw your book. So I saw your book come up as a book that was going to be released, and I was like, I want to have this old lady on the podcast to share. And I didn’t know what you look like.

Amy Low: And then I. No, I know I should be 83, and I’m not 83.

Julie Jancius: No, we look like we’re the same age. And I was like, oh, my God, you’ve lived, like, multiple lifetimes and lifetimes.

00:05:00

Julie Jancius: And thank you for sharing your time and being here.

Amy Low: No, it means the world. Thank you. Thank you for letting me share some of my story. it’s such a privilege. But your first observation is so right, which is this, metaphor I use for the book. I call it a room. A last room. I think metaphors help us hold ambiguity. It’s that place where we can all kind of find a spot. And I’ll just give you a little explanation why? Because you made such a great observation. Normally, the last. Well, first of all, look, the last room is something we’re all going to live in. I mean, it’s the most human experience of all. We don’t talk about it a lot, but spoiler, we’re all going to be there. We’re all going to be there. Now, if you’ve lived a really full, good, hopefully fortunate life, yeah, you’re in your nineties. That’s the point of the last room. And also, you’re probably pretty tired. Like, maybe your knee is hurt for five years. It’s so hard. So when you get there, you’re very aware, and hopefully you’re surrounded by love and good care. But it’s. That’s meant. That’s our last chapter, right? So we all kind of know that in our headland, but we don’t think about it a lot. And then there’s another group of people. This is interesting. Ah, I thought about this a lot, who feel great today. I mean, they wake up, it worked out. They feel so wonderful. They could be in the last room. They have no idea, because tomorrow they might get, you know, they might be on their bike, they might get it by car. They had no idea they were there at all.

Julie Jancius: So my friend. My friend, like, and I haven’t explain this to the podcast audience, and I don’t know, like, when this will drop versus when I’ll do, an episode alone about this, but I have a woman on my team who has been with me, like, since the beginning. Cheryl Harris. And she’s been through this cancer diagnosis. She’s a healer on my team. And she just posted last week this photo of her ringing the bell, you know, in, hospital, because they cleared her of cancer. She went in for another appointment, and they said it had spread to her lungs. And she has two to four weeks. And I am just beside me, devastating.

Amy Low: Absolutely devastated.

Julie Jancius: Devastated.

Amy Low: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she. She sounds like it’s experienced it both ways. I had this realization because when I first got diagnosed. And then I’m going to tell you my, I have an angel story for you. My diagnosis was so serious, I thought, well, look, I’m only going to have a few months left. And yet what happened to me is I kept sort of getting through treatment after treatment. And the strange thing with me, I have, colon cancer most of the time, at least for me, anyway. I don’t look all that sick. And most of my days, I felt okay. I mean, I don’t feel great, but I feel okay. And so I thought, oh, this is such a strange thing to be in the last room to know you’re there, you know, like the 90 year old, and yet to kind of feel okay. That’s a really odd spot to inhabit. And I’ve been at this now for five years. And the more I’ve inhabited it, the more I thought, you know what? There is so much wisdom from this room. And I know I can send some postcards back to all the previous. Whatever room you’re in. If you’re room two or nine, or whatever your metaphor is, this is too sacred of a space to not share some of the observations that I’ve been learning. so that’s the metaphor I give now. I don’t know. For me, I mean, my last room, maybe it could last lots and lots of years if my medical team were on this call, they’d be like, no, no, that’s going to happen. I’m in a pretty grim situation. But again, most days I feel okay. So it’s an odd contradiction, and yet, the more I’ve lived it, the more beautiful I find it. And maybe I’ll just start with a story about what happened. Like, it was basically the third day, and I think what happened to me with what I believe absolutely was an angel set kind of a theme. If it’s helpful to start there, is that okay? Yeah.

Julie Jancius: And I want to preface this with Amy. And I jumped on this call, and she. And I was trying to explain angel stories to her, and she’s like, no, no, I get it. I listened to a couple episodes before I popped on, and she goes, Julie, I just want you to know that I didn’t put this angel story in this book because I didn’t know if everybody could hold it. But after I listened to your. And I think that that’s just a way that I haven’t heard it described before. But you’re so right. Sometimes we hold

00:10:00

Julie Jancius: these angel stories and these just divine encounters within, because not everybody can look at us like we don’t have two heads and see us as normal. So thank you for trusting us and the listeners, with this angel story, and we’ll hold space for you because this is such a powerful thing to share.

Amy Low: Well, much, of the book does chronicle a series of miracles. Some, I think, really are just stunning miracles, and some are what I call mundane miracles. Oh, they’re everywhere. All you have to do is pay attention, and they’re gifts for every room of our life. However, this one is an unusual one. so it’s a treat to tell it, because I’ve only told it to a few people. But, yeah, to your point, I have told it to some people, and I’ve gotten a. Looks like m maybe you were on pain medication, like, I don’t know if you know what was going on. No, I knew. Okay. So when I first was diagnosed, I was at the Stanford hospital. For lots of reasons, my diagnosis was really grim, and the doctors wanted me to start a chemo line immediately. Most cancer patients, you wait a few days, you get a little port inserted. Cancer is funny. It tends to not be this fast, urgent thing. But in my case, it was because I had a 15 centimeter tumor on my liver. And that was terrifying. The interesting thing, just as a sidebar, it’s actually good that I only had one tumor. Where patients have more complicated stories, they have lots and lots of little things spread out. But they immediately thought, if we can shrink this down, we can maybe do surgery and we can get going. So they said, you’re going to start a chemo line, like, tomorrow morning. And I said, okay. So they moved me into an isolated room and they inserted this chemo line. And, you know, some people, and I appreciate all cancer folks, have to go through these things differently. And I had never had any symptoms, no family history. I was the first one, really, in my world, that I knew. So I didn’t even have, like, people that I could call to say, what’s this like? Or what’s that like? But what I knew for sure in the beginning was, I’m not going to call that amazing bag of liquid. I’m not going to call it poison. I’m not. This is going to save my life. And I think it is a miracle. I think it’s a hard miracle. I think it’s physically harrowing. But I was keenly aware in the beginning someone, probably a woman, I don’t know what, 1520 years ago, was part of a trial. And she took this medicine, and she gave me this gift. And I saw it. I’m like, we’re not going to call it poison. We’re going to call it a gift. Okay? So I’m trying to get my head in that space, learning the routine of the hospital. Nurses are coming in, changing shifts, and when a nurse comes in, they write their name on a whiteboard, and so they’ll say, hi, you know, I’m Jane. Goals for this time, if you need anything and you can look up on that whiteboard and know who it is. On, the second day I was there, I’d gone through a full day and a half of rotation of nurses. So the second night, it was very odd, because normally the shift changes around eight, but no one had come in. And I was in and out of sleep. And around 10:00 a nurse came in. I remember exactly what she looked like. She was kind of short. I think she was Filipino, Filipina. I, just written, or I just read a book about amazing, nurses from the Philippines who had come and began working in the US. So that might have altered my perspective, but I felt like I knew her because I just finished this book, and the author is a dear friend of mine. And she came in, and she said, hi, I’m Rosemarie, and, I’m your nurse. And I said, okay, great. And she wrote her name on the whiteboard. I’m Rosemary. And she took my vitals. But this is important. She kind of only did it when they put the blood pressure cuff on you. She did that, but I noticed she didn’t do the other things. She didn’t take my temperature. She didn’t do the little oxygen thing. She was sort of, like, looking for things to do. So she did it partly. And I thought, she’s so. But she kept asking me questions. She said, how are you feeling? How is it going? And I said, well, it’s really terrible. It’s really scary. And she said, I know everything about you. M I thought, well, that’s interesting. Even nurses don’t quite say it that way. And I said, oh, you’ve read my chart. And she said, I didn’t need to read your chart, but I knew everything about you. And then she did the most interesting thing. She sat on my bed. Now, anyone who’s been in the hospital knows

00:15:00

Amy Low: that’s not a thing. I mean, maybe there are times when a patient will say, will you please come sit here? And a nurse will do that. But just a brand new nurse doesn’t come and sit on the bed with you.

Julie Jancius: Ready for a little getaway that completely resets your energy. We’re hosting a live, in person spiritual retreat called a whole new you. It’s the weekend of October 4 in Oakbrook, Illinois. This spiritual retreat is all about your own personal healing and, growth, reconnecting with yourself, learning to connect with your Angels. And I’m going to talk about all new Angels that I’ve never talked about anywhere before. And you’re going to leave with more personal peace, purpose, clarity, and confidence than ever before. Learn more and see the itinerary@theangelmedium.com. retreat that’s theangelmedium.com retreat. Links are in the show notes and friend, I cannot wait to meet you and hug you in person.

Amy Low: I thought, I don’t know, maybe nurses sit with you. I had no idea. So she sat on the bed with me, and then she looked at me and she said, I want you to know something. I want you to know that you are going to be prayed for by thousands of people who you haven’t even met yet. And they are going to play such an important role in your story. And I am here on behalf of them, because I never want you to have a day where you’re going to doubt it, but they are going to show up, and they are just going to be the most miraculous parts of your story. It’s very dark in my room, my lights on. I’m thinking, I mean, Rosemary, who are you? You know, like, this is so intense because it is medical central where I’m at. And I said, well, you know, I’m a person of faith. I said, no, I know I’ve got a lovely family. I’m sure people are going to pray. And she said, no, no, no. You’re thinking too small. It’s going to be very big, and I’m here on their behalf. And so I just thought. And she said, you know what? I have to go, but I’ll be back. And I said, okay. And she left. And then I, looked up on the whiteboard. Her name had disappeared, but I didn’t see her take it off. And I thought, okay, maybe I’m hallucinating. Maybe this is a dream. Maybe I’m asleep. But it was so visceral. And even when she was sitting on my bed, she grabbed my hand for a second. The physicality was really important. So I’ll tell you, maybe 15 minutes later, another nurse comes in. I forget her name. So we’ll make up a name. And she’s like, hi, I’m Jane. You know, I’m here for the night shift. And I said, no, Rosemary’s already been here. And she says, we don’t have a nurse named Rosemarie on this floor. And I said, no, no, she had a badge. Because, she had a badge and the whole thing. She’s dressed just like you. And she said, she was really upset. She said, what did you say? And I said, rosemary? And she said, I have to go check this out, because she was very worried that someone had gotten onto the floor and was impersonating a nurse. So she was doing the right thing, but she went to, Oh, my goodness. We have a security issue here where I’m thinking, no, no. We have a holy moment here. And so she was gone for a while, came back, and she said, you know, I don’t know what to do about this. If you want to talk to my supervisor and really describe what she looked like, I’ll do that, but we’ve had no other accounts of this. What do you want to do? And I said, yeah, I don’t need to talk to a supervisor. I’m fine. I said, I think she had a very important little job, and let’s just let it go. Let’s let it go. As, you can imagine, that was an uncomfortable moment for a traditional nurse because she thought, I don’t. This just all sounds so strange. But that nurse set in motion for me a frame and a confidence. And as it turns out, I think she was also a prophet. Because I’m really fortunate. A lot of. I hold a lot of contradictions in the book. the epigraph in the beginning is really kind of the cornerstone of the book. It’s by Frederick Buechner, a wonderful writer. But he says, here is the world, beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid. That is kind of, the lighthouse of the book. And so I have lived with this depth of beautiful and terrible. And Rosemarie, in that moment, pointed out the beautiful.

00:20:00

Amy Low: And she also reminded me, don’t be afraid. That doesn’t mean the terrible is not going to be present. It’s been so terrible, it’s ridiculous to get sick at such a young age. I was 48 when I was diagnosed. But the beauty she pointed out about this wider chorus of, support and everybody prays in their own path has proven to absolutely be true. And there’s never been a day that I haven’t been grateful for it. And how crazy is it to have someone who I think was an angel come and name it? And she named it. So that’s my beginning of my story. It’s not in the book, but that’s how it begins.

Julie Jancius: That is incredible. I think the name has a lot of significance, too. The rose and the Marie, I see them separate. M. the rose is something that I oftentimes, I see Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene often come in with a symbol of the rose. And they’re such divine feminine symbols. I, see them as ascended masters, you could say, on the other side, who are doing great work with everyone here. but I see that Rosemarie coming from. From them and also being an angel. I talk about in my book how Angels are with you for a reason, a season or a lifetime. And, I don’t think that she was with you at the beginning, but she’s come in with this journey and she’ll be with you for the rest.

Amy Low: Of your life here, you know, my worst days, I do have this little visual memory of her coming straight over, looking me in the eyes and sitting on my bed again. It was a very small moment, but it had such lasting impact. So I just found it to be generous, charming, beautiful, and one of the things I realized, everyone can hold that story in a different way. I mean, so I’ve got very rational people who say, well, no, no. So she must have been a janitor or something and decided she was going to have a little fun that night, maybe. I don’t think so. and then I. And then I have other people who are all in, who are like, oh, no, this was probably the most miraculous thing of all of the gifts that this last room is giving you. I’m like, well, maybe. I mean, there’s been some other things, too. So I. That’s why I say I think the people in your life can hold these stories in different ways. But what I think we have to do, as those who’ve borne witness to the angelic world, to the spiritual world, it’s really important that we become ambassadors, that we report back, and that we share with our hearts in a way that’s also very invitational to say. I’m not convincing you of anything. I’m not pushing you from here to here. What I’m doing is I’m bearing witness to a true moment. You’ve known me your whole life. You know, I’m not the kind of person who embellishes or whatever, but there is a mystery that we can hold. And I think we live in a world that needs to, I think, have a deeper affection for that mysterious middle place. these are the stories that help bring those places to life. Right. So it was just an amazing thing that. That was sort of what it was like. I was getting launched off of this harbor on this new sailboat, which I did not even sign up for. I’m like, I want to stay on the land. I’m fine. And she put some, like, wind in my sail, and I thought, okay, here we go. And then that’s. That’s where it all began. Yeah.

Julie Jancius: So you’re in this last room.

Julie Jancius: And, I mean, your entire story is a miracle. How do you go from being in this state of mind where you’re in the last room to you’ve got longer to live?

Amy Low: Yeah. It is a constant paradox, the way I sometimes describe the theme of the last room. If you’re somebody who’s going to be very aware that they’re there and maybe not all that sickness, you have an invitation every day. And the question that you’re asked is, so what today will you see? What will you see? And you can choose to see the most gorgeous proof points of, like, wonder. You can see that because I promise you, it’s all there, or you can kind of move to the darkest, scariest corners. It’s very cold and very lonely. And the hard reality of this place is that, again, both things sit right next to each other. It is a hard

00:25:00

Amy Low: discipline to sort of pivot in this room between those two realities, because I actually think some of the hardest corners, the darkest moments and what I mean by that are, ah, like a terrible scan or news that we thought would be great, not great at all. I actually think you need to live in to what I call the terrible to fully appreciate the beautiful. M so if you say, well, look, I’m not, I’m not even going to worry about that. I mean, I know my good spots. I know the parts of my room that are furnished with gorgeous couches. I’ve got blankets, I’ve got people who come in. It’s great. And that’s just why I say it’s so important to know that these are, these ideas, these virtues that I can talk a little bit more about are true for every room of our life. Because, see, if you gallop through all of the first parts of your life and you say, well, look, I’m not going to look at any of the bad stuff. I mean, everything’s kind of going great, and I’m going to just sort of be focused on goodness across the board. Well, see, I would argue maybe you’re not fully paying attention to the world around you and the world around you might be asking a little bit more of you, and the world around you might have some rugged edges, and it might need your goodness to come and smooth those edges. But if you go there, you’re going to have some hard days. It’s going to be tough. I mean, even just making a bet on a friendship, you don’t that bet, you don’t know. It could be a, 30 year friendship. It could end in tragedy in three. But you wouldn’t say to someone, well, no, no, I wouldn’t bet on the friendship. See, you could get hurt, like, no. Living a full life means embracing both ends of the spectrum. The trick with the last room is there’s nothing abstract. And the pace intellectually can just obliterate you. And that’s, that’s a hard element that I have to constantly, negotiate. So when I was diagnosed, they told me, which was true at the time, m I think it’s still true. Those with the stage of cancer that I had, getting to five years, there’s only 14% of us. So that was the statistic. I had some doctors say, don’t fixate on that. But broadly, that’s basically true. You know, I told my kids who were 14 and 16 at the time, don’t google this. You know, it’s terrible. It’s going to make us afraid all the time. But, you know, they were 14 and 16, so of course they googled it and they knew how scary it was. So, weirdly, you live with this constant sense. It’s like you’re hiking and your tent is perched right on the edge of the cliff, so you know you’re there. But if you look out, you’re like, gosh, this view is amazing. On the other hand, what on earth is my tent doing here? Like, I’ve got to get back, right? So it’s an odd paradox that I think, candidly is true even for people who aren’t going through health problems. If you go through a terrible career transition, if you lose a member of your family, if you make a series of investments and it doesn’t work out, like, all of us know a turn in our life where you just think, well, this is unbearable. You know what I’m talking about. The challenge with health is those other life scenarios. You can kind of start on this project of mending. You could say, all right, I have to pick myself back up. I have to go with health. There is a path for healing, and one of the things that I feel very strongly about in the book, a through line of the book, is kind of a love letter to medicine. I just fell in love with my doctors. They’re all healers. At some point in their life, they grew up thinking, I want to be a healer. Why aren’t we all saying thank you to them all the time? They’re just saints among us. And that doesn’t mean that every day my doctor’s appointments were terrific. Some were awful. But I always left with irreverence because I thought this person decided, who knows what, in high school, in college, she was going to dedicate herself to this really hard thing. And I love her for that. I love her for that. Even if our appointment didn’t go all that well, I love that her job is me. Isn’t that amazing? So I am here because of an amazing medical team. I’m also here because of your earlier point, extraordinary miracles. But I’ll just note that my favorite miracles are the ones that are actually. I mean, some might say, well, no, no, see, that’s not a miracle. That’s just a nice moment. And I’m, like, no, I think you’ve missed the story in a previous room. I might have called it

00:30:00

Amy Low: a nice moment. I might have. But if there’s one hope I have for this book, is that you might. Through my storytelling, you’re like, oh, well, something like that happened to me, like, two years ago. I didn’t even know it was a miracle. And it was.

Julie Jancius: Yeah.

Amy Low: And that’s. That’s the magic of the last room.

Julie Jancius: So you get to this point of life where you’re seeing everything different. You’re grateful for your body. You’re grateful for yourself. You’re grateful for others. You’re just seeing and holding all of the vast dualities of life. Can you describe what that feels like within? And is it a complete release of the ego where you don’t feel any frustration or disappointment or fear? Or is it, how do you hold both, and what does that feel like within?

Amy Low: Yeah. Such, a good question. So when I’ve moved through miracles, borne witness to beauty, sometimes it happens in the moment. Sometimes I realize three months later, oh, my gosh, I missed it. But that moment was so wonderful. It doesn’t in any way diminish or erase the gravity of my situation. Instead, what happens is every time I move through one of those moments, it gives the gravity of my situation more purpose. And that’s one of the most remarkable intellectual moments anyone can kind of have. I’ll tell you what. Truly, only two people have said this to me. So these are not a lot of people. But in the last five years, if you want to know, well, what’s the worst thing anyone has ever said to you? I can tell you again, very nice people who just didn’t. They weren’t thinking. But what this person said was, well, look, I mean, this is terrible luck. I mean, such rotten luck. I mean, don’t you find the whole thing so kind of random? I mean, you didn’t have any family history. Like, you led a healthy lifestyle. I mean, it’s just a random. And I remember thinking, I don’t know, that you could be more cruel like that. That is a terrifying notion. Because what it suggests is all of this has not had any kind of meaning or purpose. Which also means your cute little last room. Yeah. It doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter at all. And that’s why it’s so important. When you experience these sort of just sacred, holy, beautiful elements. They are reminders. They’re glimpses of the world that someday that we’ll move toward. now, here’s what’s complicated. You’d say, well, look, if you’ve had these sort of small miracles. Why hasn’t you had all these people praying for you? Rosemarie said people were going to pray for you. She was right. You might say, well, look, why aren’t you cured? I mean, my gosh, that’s a very simple prayer. Just cure the cancer and it’s one of the great unanswered. We don’t know. We don’t know. But what I’ve gotten are, glimpses. I’ve gotten glimpses of answered prayer. I’ve gotten glimpses of love. I’ve gotten glimpses of beauty. And it means the most terrible moments, which have been plentiful then have a place inside of a larger story. In some ways it’s like thinking, I know that’s going to sound a little bit cliche, but if you think about your favorite novels growing up as a kid, there had to have been some tension on the plot, right? Like, how is it gonna work out? Your heart breaks a little bit. You’re not sure about it, but the novels that you hold tend to be the ones that take you on the biggest arc of fear to a, ah, larger story that you didn’t quite realize on page twelve, right? And that’s the space I inhabit. So if you’re ten years old and you’re deep into a novel, and someone says to you, oh, yeah, none of this really matters. I mean, the whole thing is kind of joke. I mean, like, well, way to crush the heart of a ten year old. I mean, don’t do that. So now, I will tell you, there’s a flip side to this that is also very dangerous. And it’s good, I think, and your audience will

00:35:00

Amy Low: appreciate this. See, if you lead with, well, I mean, it’s so terrible you got sick, but look, all these things happen for a reason, so somehow it’s all going to work out, you know, like, this is all part of a grander plan, that has its own set of cruelty. So that’s really hard too. So instead, the language that I choose from grace is, there’s a deeper meaning here. There’s a bigger story that’s happening. And this is why I talk about this is an in between place, and it calls for as much courage as you can have, but we can spend more time in the mystery and hold it. As opposed to saying, well, look, this whole thing is random. See, none of it matters. All the way to the other side, which is, well, bummer for you, but this was all part of a big plan and it all is happening. For a reason. Both of those are not helpful.

Amy Low: The tricky thing for us is we don’t have great language in the middle, you know?

Julie Jancius: We don’t. We don’t. And, you know, I don’t know if I said this on the podcast or before, but, M I just got the news yesterday that Cheryl Harris, on my team of healers, was given two to four weeks to live because her cancer has spread to her lungs. And she. In the best way that she could put that out on Facebook and Instagram. And I was reading through the comments and people, I don’t know if they didn’t take time to read her full message, but, they were saying to her, you can beat this. You can get through. There could be a miracle. As if we’ve equated that success within the spiritual community isn’t there. Unless the full miracle happens and the person who can’t walk gets up and walks again, or the person who’s at the end of life gets up and has more life to live. That isn’t success, right? That isn’t the divine plan. And she’s not wrong, and she’s not bad for not having experienced that. She’s right where she’s supposed to be. But to your point, we don’t have language to just hold space for the exact peace that people are going through. And one more point about this. I got sick with a vocal disorder a couple of years ago. I keep seeing you take cough drops. Anybody out there who’s got, like, a vocal thing going on? I recently discovered that if you take a piece of fresh ginger, peel the skin back and, keep, like, a piece of fresh ginger in your mouth and just every once in a while, give it a little squeeze with your teeth. Oh, it helps so much to keep it.

Amy Low: I know. And it’s so. I. I’m so glad you mentioned that because I have a little jar of gingers at my house, and I was driving this. I’m like, oh, I don’t. I forgot my gingers because I thought I might have a cough anyway. But you are 100% on board with that.

Julie Jancius: But, when I got sick with the voice thing, people were like, does that mean that you shouldn’t be talking or spreading your message on the podcast? And I thought. I think that that was the most cruel thing that people could, like, you’re bad. You’re wrong for having gotten this. Spirit’s trying to send you a message that you’re a bad person and. And that you shouldn’t be speaking and I that just crushed me and brought me more tears than anything else that was said.

Amy Low: Yeah. Well, I am going to tell you a couple of things that I’ve learned about this question about language, because I think you’re in a wonderful position to help maybe bring us some new words or new stories, because we learn through our stories. Right?

Amy Low: I will tell you something. I know that the first impulse when you hear something devastating is to go to the best case scenario. It’s actually, in some ways, it’s an act of love, because you’re saying, well, no, no, I’m going to bet on hope. I’m going to bet on light. I’m going to bet on you. That’s what I’m going to do. Now, if the person who is on the brink communicates clearly, and it sounds like your friend did, like, no, no, read the whole post. Understand that this is as bad as it sounds. See, this is, the way that I would reset that is the most generous act of love and the most heroic act of courage is to join that Soul, that person who is truly on the brink, at their table. And I will tell you something, that it’s only true for a small group of people in my life, because what I’m asking them to do is very, very hard. It’s very, you have to be really, really brave to look at someone and say, let’s

00:40:00

Amy Low: talk about the hardest part. Let’s talk about it. And there’s a scene in the book where a dear friend of mine, Jacqueline, when it looked like I wasn’t going to qualify for surgery, and there were three days that were as terrifying as you can imagine. Again, my kids were 14 and 16 at the time. And she looked at me and she said, what’s the worst thing? What are you most afraid of? and I thought, okay, first of all, that is how to meet someone at the table. and I just said, thank you for asking because everyone else said, don’t worry, it’s going to work out great. And what they’re doing is they’re diminishing. They’re not hearing me right. And if you want to give a gift to anyone who’s in the hardest place, you give them the gift of dignity, right? So you never want to see, even in your good days, when you’re having lunch with a girlfriend, so you never want to diminish someone. Right. M now to fully step in and say, okay, let’s name the scariest thing. You are giving all the dignity back to your friend, even though you think they don’t want to hear it. No, they do, because it’s so lonely. So I looked at my friend Jacqueline, and I said, well, it’s obvious I can’t leave my kids. I can’t even say the words. And I’m a single mom. I went through a terrible divorce a couple years before I was diagnosed, and part of the reason I wrote the book, although it’s open to, it’s truly for everyone. But I realized, wait a minute. There’s got to be millions of us single parents who faced a terrible health diagnosis. And I went looking for contemporary memoir. I found nothing, which was weird. I thought, wait a minute. I cannot be alone in this. So I didn’t have a spouse to confide this in. So when Jacqueline said that, I said, well, I can’t leave my kids. And she said, no, no. What do you mean by that? Let’s really talk about that. And I said, well, there’s just so many things I don’t know yet. I like, I want to help my son think about, he’s a musician. If you’re going to open a music studio, really think carefully about it, because that could be a crazy risk. And she’s like, so she literally writes down, okay, we need a finance person. So she wrote that down. And, I said, well, my daughter, you know, she’s so beautiful and lovely, and I was just chaotic, you know? But I’m like, she may not know when to wear red lipstick because you don’t always know the right, because you can get that wrong, you know, like, that’s what moms like in dressing rooms and stuff. I’m like, we’ve never had that conversation. She’s like, okay, fashion. We need a fashion person there. And we started naming all these categories, and she said, what if we do a weekend retreat with your best girlfriends, and we’re each going to take a category, and we’re going to become the aunties to your kids, and we’re going to make that commitment to you. Now, I will tell you something. That is a brave, brave moment. And it also see the well intended. You’re gonna be fine. Do you see how silly that becomes when you’re. And so this is the kind of story then you can pass along, because you realize, oh, okay, okay. So, first of all, you have to admit this is super hard. Like, you really have to be brave, but think about what it means to be a great friend. And how many times in your life has someone looked at you and said, what are you most afraid of right now? We’re not good at that. But I’ll tell you this. When I talk about the beauty of the last round, that’s what it looks like, and it’s just a small story. The good news is, we did not have to have the weekend retreat. I got good news from my surgery. Now my friend Jacqueline’s like, look, at some point, we still have to do the retreat because your story is getting harder and harder. I’ve had some really tough news the last number of weeks, and I’m like, maybe we have to do it or not. I ended up writing this book. Like, they may get a lot out of this, but I’ll just give your audience that it doesn’t. I don’t know that everybody can do that, but I don’t think it’s as hard as we think. I don’t think it’s as hard as we think. Yeah.

Julie Jancius: Oh, I’m a wreck over here. I’m sorry, Amy.

Amy Low: No, don’t apologize. It’s just because it’s so. This is what love is. Yeah. And see, I look on Facebook and Instagram just enough with sick people. I see those comments all the time. These are not mean people. They’re lovely people, and they’re doing their best, but everybody just needs just a little shift. Just a little shift. And the patient, the person, also needs to know who’s the right little group of people who are. Cause, see, it’s not everybody. Not everybody can do this. But you have to also be really thoughtful to say, there are three people who

00:45:00

Amy Low: might be just brave enough to say, you know what? Let’s do this. Let’s do this together. Let’s grapple with it. Let’s find joy in it, and let’s hold hands and let’s be as, brave as we possibly can be. And I. Again, I continue to think. I don’t even think this is something you have to say for the last room. I mean, you may have a girlfriend, go through a terrible miscarriage or something. That’s an awful time. She may not be losing her life, but she lost a life. What is it like, then, to go sit at her table and say, let’s. Let’s talk about the hardest part right now? Let’s just talk about it.

Julie Jancius: Can I take it to another place, too?

Amy Low: Yeah.

Julie Jancius: I was thinking this right before you said it. It’s how you can open yourself up, right here, right now. Like, every single person can be brave enough and courage and courageous enough to ask themselves, like, let’s talk about the hardest part, because we’re all fearful of something, and I think I started this question off with, like, how did you get to a place, and what does that feel like to balance both of those energies within your life? And you described it so beautifully. Let’s talk about the hardest part. What’s the worst that could happen? What’s just the worst possible outcome? And as you were talking, it really triggered something deep within me because I always, and I feel, like, shame even saying this, because it’s nowhere near what you’ve been through, but, when my daughter was born, she was born with very. She’s a very medically fragile child. She coded twice within the first six months, and she was too fed for the first three years, round the clock feedings every 3 hours. And I had always made you sleep. I didn’t, and it, like, nearly drove me insane, honestly.

Amy Low: Oh, that is so much.

Julie Jancius: It was so much. And I had always seen myself having two children, and I really wanted to have that second child, but my husband, I mean, we were at home when my daughter coded, and she was just lifeless, and she was blue, and I was praying, praying, praying while the ambulance was on its way. Like, God, please bring her back to me, because if you don’t, I know that this is going to kill my husband and he won’t have more children. Like, he’s just such a sensitive Soul. I was like, please bring her back to me. And so we have her. But it’s also my greatest fear of, I really hope I’m like, my great grandma’s and I get to live to be 105 one day, to be here her entire life. But she’s not extremely close. Like, her aunties live far away, and grandma lives far away, and it’s kind of us as a trio. And when you were talking about having that retreat and just pulling in different people, like, I want that for my daughter. Like, I want to pull in my sister and say, this is what I would need you to be to my kid, and pull in my best friend Sarah and say, this is what I need you to be. And my friend Kim and say, this is what I need you to be to my daughter. I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that, so thank you. But it helps because I think just feeling the energy of that future place, of doing that within my own life helps me to hold. I’ve done the best that I can. Like, I’ve done all that I can, and, so I can live and I can breathe knowing that, God forbid, if anything happens to me, there’s people around that would take care of her.

Amy Low: Yeah, well, I love the way you said that, because everything underneath it, you were describing a path of purpose, right?

Julie Jancius: Yeah.

Amy Low: So the gift that you will give your daughter, and it’s such a ridiculously hard story that you and your husband called to walk alongside her. I have no doubt that you will look through all of this with such great intention. First of all, you’ll never take anything for granted. You know, you see other people at the park, and you’re like, you’re missing it. You don’t even see, like, the fragility of life is also what gives it its most beautiful splendor. And that’s hard because you don’t want to constantly, be a fragile person and be afraid all of the time. And yet it comes back to this incredible theme of, like, no, everything matters. It matters so much. And if you’re able to bring that intentionality

00:50:00

Amy Low: to your closest circle from a relative position of strength. And by the way, I’m just here to tell you, none of us are as strong as we think because anything can go sideways for any of us. But I think that’s really smart. I think it’s really smart. It also, you always want to make those plans and put them in the drawer and never have to use them. Right? Like, that’s the whole point. Okay? But we did the hard work. We put it in the drawer. If you were to bump up against a terrible life event, just think of the gift that you will have given your daughter to know. Like, no, we actually scaffolded a thought here. There are people who are going to surround her life, and it is. I’ll tell you what, there’s never some fictional Wednesday when you want to do this. I get it. But if there are, again, these little dispatches from the last room, they’re good to hold. I had a friend, I’ll just sort of note this, because it kind of wraps up this idea. And I thought, gosh, that’s so simple. But it really hit me as profound, because I was asking her, I said, who are other last room people like me? Like, kind of look okay. Kind of don’t seem all that sick, but, I’m super sick. I’m like, who are these people? And she said, well, one person. And I knew I hadn’t ever read his work, but I knew him. He was a, ah, lutheran pastor in Germany. His name is Dietrich Bonhoeffer. And he was watching kind of, Germany fall apart all around him. And by fall apart, like his church, which was wonderful. Starts falling apart. The pastors and the other spiritual healers in his life. Basically, what happens is they’re like, let’s just not speak up about this. This whole thing is going to pass. Don’t worry about it. You know, it’s one bad election. Hitler’s terrible. But I don’t, don’t talk about it, because if we talk about it, bad things could happen to us. So, bit by bit, even the lutheran church, which was the biggest church of Germany, basically stayed super quiet. Like, what? Really? Like, they knew everything that was going to happen to the jewish community. And it was just like, no, let’s just be super quiet. Okay? So Dietrich decides, I’m, m not going to be quiet. Like, I can’t. It’s, it’s too much. So he joins the resistance. I remember this guy’s a pastor. It’s not like he’s going to carry a gun. But he became so clear because, he was watching it. He’s like, no, no, no. We have to stop this Man. He could murder millions of people. And he did. So he joins this tiny little band of this resistance. Okay? So he’s arrested. Not a surprise. And he’s engaged. So there’s all these beautiful letters that he writes to his fiance, and that’s why we know all of these things. So my friend said, well, no. So he was a last room person because physically he felt okay. But he knew, like, okay, it could just be a matter of weeks before the german court calls us out. And that’s what happened. And so in one of the letters that he writes, he says basically something just like this. He says, look, this is really bad. This is really bad. Like, he just got a note from the legal world, which wasn’t, you know, like, really like Hitler had a legal world. Like, no, but he got this terrible news, and he said, it’s bad, but God meets us in the facts. God meets us in the facts. And what’s so beautiful about that is that table I was describing is when our friends meet us in the facts. That is the ultimate form of faithfulness, because the easiest thing to do is to scoot out like, okay, good luck, and you want to go? And I thought that, for me, that’s the core of my faith is, like, even on the darkest moments and the most terrifying corners of this last room, I know I’m not alone. I get glimpses through Angels and other, and other moments. And what they are is, I’m meeting you in the facts. As hard as the facts are, I’m going to sit right next to you and let’s say, let’s look at them together. Now, hopefully a good friendship. You’re going to have as many joyful celebration moments way more than the terrible. We have to look at the facts together moments. But I promise you, in all of our lives, all of our lives, we’re going to have some days where it’s like the facts are really hard. who’s going to sit next to me and let’s look at them together and let’s talk about them. And I love the spirit of your podcast because I think part of what Angels do is they are reminders that, first of all, these are fact beings, so they represent

00:55:00

Amy Low: truth, right? And I’ve always looked at Angels as the most heroic. And I’ll tell you something else, this is the other thing I was thinking about last night, knowing I was going to chat with you. One of the things throughout the New Testament that I’ve come to adore is basically every time there’s an angel scene, I mean, basically every single time, the opening bid. And, you know, this is don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid. And you think, don’t. Well, who’s going to be afraid of an angel? Angels are beautiful. Like, no, they’re really not because they’re fact people. They’re fact ambassadors. Right? And so your first instinct is to run for the hills and every single time, especially my favorite, actually, some people might think, well, when the angel came to Mary and said, you know, surprise, you’re going to do this thing, she was terrified, too. But when the angel came to Joseph, her fiance, and said, you actually are going to do something just as hard. your world is going to say that you should leave. You’re going to doubt your beloved. Your family will probably want to disown you for a little while. You’re going to lose all of your credibility. And so the first thing the angel says to Joseph is, don’t be afraid. We might take 30 minutes just to help you not be afraid. And then we’re going to get into it. And that’s why I love this rosemary story so much, because she sat down on my bed and she didn’t quite say, don’t be afraid, but she gave me kind of a deeper place because she didn’t see panic in my eyes. She saw something else. But that, to me, that’s the language I would say, look for in the middle spot. the more we can tell stories about that, the more I think our friends are going to come up with their own stories, and then they’re going to report back.

Julie Jancius: Oh, Amy, like, I could do an entire series with you. I love your energy so much. I love the way that you describe everything, and I love that you call the Angels fact messengers, because you are just so spot on. And they do, they always come in. And I hope that people get that message from this podcast. Don’t be afraid. There’s nothing to be afraid about. And, really, that’s what they, they haven’t said it in that way to me, but what they’ve said is that there are so many people out there talking about ghosts and making the, you know, ghosty on tv and, just this ghosty message everywhere. And that pulled me away as a child from my Angels, where I was fearful of it, and there’s nothing to be afraid about. And that’s what the angel said, is that you, they keep using the word gentle. Like, you have to show people that there isn’t anything to be afraid of. It’s not ghosty, it’s love, it’s peace, it’s joy, ease, bliss, grace. And it’s just soft, which is why they always say it’s just loving positive messages that they bring through, and they.

Amy Low: Probably are going to meet you. This is what’s crazy oftentimes in the woods, and you’re like, what on earth am I doing in the woods? I didn’t, I was just minding my own business. And if an angel finds you in the woods, that doesn’t mean they’re going to take all the woods away. Like, no, no, that’s not. The project here is stepping into a deeper place of faith, and now we’re going to face the facts together. And I appreciate there’s a lot of mystery here, because sometimes you’re in the woods and you don’t know it. Isn’t that an interesting thing? You look back in your life like, ah, I had no idea how I was really caught up on something I shouldn’t have been. Sometimes you’re stepping in, you don’t realize you’re about ready to be there. So this woodsy thing is tricky. We’re all going to have chapters in the woods, but I do think there’s something absolutely marvelous about, the surprise and the wonder of how Angels, yeah, they are fact ambassadors. They inhabit truth. I think it’s really interesting that culturally we have gotten a little twisted up sometimes with kind of ghosts and the darker side of, you know, how you might think about the afterlife or something, because I hold a faith tradition that promises me an extraordinary upgrade, on life on the other side, I’m not nearly as afraid. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have days where I’m distracted and then I’m upset and all of that. But I’ll just finish by saying that writer I quoted earlier, Frederick Buechner, has my other favorite thing that he said. Washington. If you really believe, if you really are a person of faith, the worst thing is not the last. And if that is a place that

01:00:00

Amy Low: you can inhabit.

Amy Low: I’ll tell you what, then you can go have that weekend retreat with your friends, because you’ve realized, it’s not the last thing. There’s going to be a new story. Now, it’s not a story I want, but actually it’s a story. I don’t know yet. M that’s interesting. So I just wonder if the Angels don’t know what the next chapters are of the story, and that’s why they can say, don’t be afraid.

Julie Jancius: I got this vision when you were talking about being in the woods of our own lives, and the Angels meet you there, that they’re going to guide you forward. It’s just. It’s just your path. Like, don’t define success as this or that. It’s just your path. And it’s not just this lifetime. It’s lifetime after lifetime.

Amy Low: Yeah. I think they’re lanterns. I think they point. They can point, but you’re still, you know, making your steps. There’s not some weird rescue helicopter that comes and holds you up. But can you believe the beauty of the lanterns? Wow, that’s. That is a stunning thing.

Julie Jancius: Oh, Amy.

Amy Low: Oh, I’m so glad we had a chance to talk. This has been a lot of fun. Me too.

Julie Jancius: Your book, the brave in between, can people get it on audible as well?

Amy Low: Yeah.

Julie Jancius: Perfect.

Amy Low: It’s not me. It’s a different story because I got terrible news back in March, so I wasn’t able to record it. But we have a lovely narrator. and you can buy it anywhere. Yeah, if there’s one chapter or something, like, wait, let’s just go deep on this. Have me back. I’m always happy to chat about it because this is what I love to do now. So.

Julie Jancius: So, Amy, you, have a sub stack, though, too, right?

Amy Low: I do. And it’s. It’s called postcards from the mountain. But the sub stack is really easy. It’s just amylo dot substack.com. so. So amylow substack. and I post there pretty regularly because some people, frankly, just want the health updates, and I do that. So I sometimes say, come for the cancer, but stay for the other good stuff because I love it. There’s a lot of other good stuff, but if you’re like, no, I want to know how to pray or how to think about this. I keep folks updated on my health there, too.

Julie Jancius: So beautiful.

Amy Low: I’m a substat person. Yeah.

Julie Jancius: Amy Lowe, thank you so much. Tell everybody where they can find you. And, I just want to close with a little prayer.

Amy Low: Yeah. Oh, I’d love that. I think the biggest open door of finding me is just on Instagram. I’m Amylo 112. So, and I, my kids have reminded me I’m way easier now to Google, but I tend to read my Instagram messages more than anything else, so that’s always a treat. Yeah. And the book is easy to find, too, so, yeah. Thank you for closing with a prayer.

Julie Jancius: Yeah. I just want everybody to just take a moment if you can. If you can’t because you’re driving or something, no worries. But if you can close your eyes, just take a deep breath to center yourself. And I want you to imagine God, Universe, source energy pulling, pulling through the crown of your head, moving through your body, down through your arms, out through the palms of your hands. And that that energy goes directly to Amy, to Amy’s children, to Amy’s friends. And this energy is that lantern that helps, that guides, that shows clarity, that brings purpose, that brings strength, and everything else that’s needed in the moment, now and always. And I just want us to pray that every Soul on earth who needs Amy’s message is directed to her book to find the clarity that they’ve been searching for as well. And I just want to pray for Amy and whatever her Soul, her spirit, her human self needs in this moment, that it all directs and flows to her right here, right now. And this we pray. Amen. Thank you so much for being here with us, Amy.

Amy Low: Thank you. This is an amazing gift. Thank you, Julie.

Julie Jancius: Yeah, thank you.

Amy Low: Your voice is really important, so I’m so grateful for the message that you’re sharing. Thank you.

Julie Jancius: Friends, I need your help reaching as, many people as possible. If you’d like to support

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Julie Jancius: this podcast and help us spread more hope to the world, please book a session with me, join my angel membership, or take my angel Reiki school. What’s the difference? If you’d like to know what messages, your Angels and loved ones have for you, you’ll want to book a session with me. The angel membership is all about your own personal spiritual healing. The membership takes you on a spiritual journey that teaches you how to create your own heaven on earth. And the angel Reiki school is for those who want to get certified in mediumship, angel messages and energy healing all at once. These are three ways you can help us share a message of hope and love with more people than ever before. Register for one or all three at ah, theangelmedium.com. that’s theangelmedium.com. now let’s pray together. As we do. I want you to pray in a way where you feel as though everything you want for yourself and the world has already come true and you’re giving thanks. Why? Because this is the best way to manifest. So let’s begin. God, universe Source, thank you. We’re so grateful that you’ve blessed this world with calm and peace for all. This calm and peace has spread like ripples, soothing the hearts of every Soul. Thank you for opening our hearts to abundance, allowing each of us to live our, most authentic life, and helping us to create our own heaven on earth. We thank you for the love and deep heart to heart connection that surrounds us every day in our relationships. We thank you for the abundance of health and aliveness we feel radiating from every cell in our and our families bodies. Thank you for the gift of walking this life with us and guiding us every step of the way through your messages. We hear you through our own intuition and we feel you walking right by our sides and we overflow with gratitude. Thank you for financial abundance and abundance of opportunities and miracles, blessings and prosperity in every way. We know that you want us to succeed so that we can show others how you want them to succeed too. Thank you for the boundless love, kindness, Empathy and compassion that binds us all together. Thank you for the laughter, fun moments of pure delight that fill us every day, especially today. God Universe Source thank you for blessing us beyond measure and allowing us to use our souls, gifts, talents, skills and abilities to serve the world. We love you. I love you. And in this we pray. Amen. Friends, we’re working on some pretty major things over here and if you wouldn’t mind saying a little prayer that these things come to fruition, if they’re God’s will, we’d so appreciate it. And please add a little prayer in for any specific thing you need right now too. Have a beautiful, blessed day and don’t forget to submit your contact info@theangelmedium.com if you’d like me to channel the name of one of your Angels for you, sending you peace, bliss and many blessings.

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