Hello beautiful souls! We all experience ‘stuckness’ in our lives. We feel stuck in our relationships, career paths, body struggles, addiction issues, and more. Many of us know what we need to do to move forward—but find ourselves unable to take the leap to make it happen. And then we blame and shame ourselves, and stay in a loop of self-doubt that goes nowhere. Today, Britt’s giving you a research-based tool kit for moving past what’s holding you back in life, in love and in work!

To learn more about Britt Frank’s work:
TheScienceOfStuck.com
Britt’s book The Science Of Stuck is available at all major book retailers
[IG] @brittfrank

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TRANSCRIPT

Julie Jancius: Beautiful souls. Here’s a preview of today’s discussion, and.

Britt Frank: What’S so great about them is when people say, I feel so stuck, I don’t know what to do. Instead of going into the analysis of why or waiting for the perfect sign or the perfect moment, switch the question to, well, what are three micro yeses you could do right now? I don’t know what the answer is. I don’t know what the answer is. Should I stay or should I go? I don’t know. Start that business. I don’t know. What are three micro yeses?

Julie Jancius: Hello, beautiful souls. You’re listening to the Angels and Awakening podcast. I’m your host and author, Julie Jancius. Did you know that you can listen to this show everywhere podcasts are found? It’s true. Now I have three free gifts just for you. First gift, I give away a new reading each week to a person who’s left a five star positive review of this show, then submitted it to me using the contact form@theangelmedium.com. contact I hope I’m calling your number next. Second gift if you’d like a new daily angel message, join me on Insta angelpodcast. Third free gift if you’d like to know the name of one of your guardian angels so that you can work with them even more closely, go to the homepage of my website, theangelmedium.com, and submit your contact info at the very top. I’ll email you back personally with the name of one of your Angels. Okay, as we begin the show, I want you to feel the presence of your Angels surrounding you. And just know that the loving, positive messages you resonate with today are messages for you from your Angels and loved ones on the other side. Hello, beautiful souls. Welcome back to the Angels and Awakening podcast. I’m your host and author, Julie Jancius. And friends, if you’ve ever thought to yourself, I feel stuck. I don’t know which way to go. I don’t know where spirit is leading me. I don’t know how the Angels are talking to me. Today is the episode for you friends. We’re going to mix in the Angels with my friend here, Brit Frank. She has the, the newer book and now a new workbook to go along with it. The science of stuck breaking through inertia to find your path forward. Brit, welcome to the show.

Britt Frank: Hi. Thank you so much for having me on. I’m so happy to be here.

Julie Jancius: Oh, my gosh. Well, I love your work over on Instagram. I love just how you say things I think you say things in a way that really breaks through where people are like, okay, I’ve heard that before, but the way that Brit says it makes me think completely different about everything. You say that you don’t need motivation to get going, to find your path. And I think that this is where we should start today, because I think that’s a huge misconception. Can you talk to us about this and where you need to start, other than motivate motivation?

Britt Frank: Isn’t it such a relief? I found it very comforting to know that motivation is not the secret sauce. Some people are like, I like being motivated. I’m, Like, that’s great. You are not the people for whom I work, and that’s not my story. My story is, why can’t I do the thing? Why can’t I start the thing? Or why can’t I stop doing the thing? So, motivation, this myth that we need to feel like it, that we need to feel the inspiration, that we need to feel the I want to do in order to do, is one of the biggest myths that keeps us stuck now. And I really love mixing. I mean, I think I love mixing, the things that have a harder time being quantified and locked down by science. But, like, when they all line up together, it’s really nice. And that. I don’t know what that is happening behind me.

Julie Jancius: For anybody watching over on YouTube, as you said, that the Angels just gave you, like, fireworks behind your screen. That was wild. That has never.

Britt Frank: I have been like, that has never happened in any podcast I have ever done, ever. So. Okay. Whoo. Okay, let’s skip. Where was I? Motivation is not needed, and here’s why. Motivation is the thing that happens after we start. And anyone who’s ever had the feeling of, well, once I get to the gym, I’m fine. Once I get to the party, I’m fine. That’s cause motivation happens after, not before. And we don’t need to feel like it to do the thing. You don’t have to feel motivated to get unstuck. Now, the next question is, well, then what’s going on? But let’s start with no motivation required.

Julie Jancius: So, no motivation. I know that, you do talk about micro

00:05:00

Julie Jancius: yeses. Tell us a little bit about that.

Britt Frank: I love micro yeses. Cause they have such an amazing mystical component, but they’re so grounded in neuroscience, and they’re so practical. So that’s sort of the intersection of both, which makes me very, very happy. So, micro yeses are smaller than small steps they are smaller than baby steps. Micro yeses are the smallest possible thing that you can do easily. So assume if you’re not able to easily bang it out, it’s not a micro yes. Micro means so small you almost feel silly doing it, like you’re not going. And I’ll give you an example. So a micro yes. When I was addicted to crystal meth and just spun out and just really like in no shape to feel my feelings or address my trauma or come up with a plan or a vision, my micro yes was to sit on the phone with this woman who talked me through eating a yogurt, spoonful by spoonful for an hour. Put the spoon in the yogurt, put the spoon in your mouth. That’s a micro yes. A micro yes for fitness is not take a walk around the block, it’s put your left shoe by the door. And a, micro yes for meditation or journaling is not write one page, it’s get the pen, hold the pen. Now you’re done. Tomorrow, get the pen, write one letter, not even a word, a letter, and then you’re done. Micro yeses work because they allow us to keep moving even when we don’t feel like it, even when we’re scared, even when we’re feeling like, well, what? Cause you’re not doing anything, that’s going to cost you anything. It’s so small, nothing bad is going to happen. And that’s where our brains can keep moving. Stuck becomes unstuck the second we do anything, no matter how small. A, micro yes. Over time will kick in that motivation that we’re looking for. And then momentum takes over and we’re off to the races.

Julie Jancius: It’s interesting, and I think I’ve talked about this before, definitely in the membership, but I’m not sure if I’ve talked about it here. If you took a circle, as just like life force, energy, right? This circle that just goes round and round, but then you put it stationary, like on the floor, the circle laying down, and you pulled it up a slinky, the circle then spirals upward. And what I see over and over and over again in my sessions with folks is that the Angels always talk about you don’t have to be making huge leaps forward, but your life and this circle really doesn’t always look to spirit like a circle. It looks like a slinky pulled upwards, that you’re just spiraling up and up and up and up. As your consciousness unfolds, as your story unfolds, as you grow and I’m saying this because you’re an EO entrepreneur, organization. I was a part of that for a while. I know there’s also a great organization. If any women are like, I love my own business. I want to connect with other entrepreneurs. There’s another one called chief, which is amazing for women. but you get to meet all of these different, beautiful souls within the world who are doing the most incredible, fabulous thing. And you start to feel so at home with these big dinners that you go to with them, because they have so much fear, they have so much anxiety. They are just like the person who is doing the micro yes. It’s that everybody, no matter whether you’re the queen of England, king of England, now, or a president or of a company, anybody, you could be Elon Musk. His consciousness is still unfolding in this spiral upward. And so what I really found interesting, and one of the reasons I really wanted to have you on, a couple different reasons, is those micro yeses might feel really small, but they’re keeping you walking up the circle, the spiral.

Britt Frank: Yes, exactly. And shout out to eo. I’m not actually a member of eo. I did a talk for them, and I fell in love with all of them. And so I’m just like a big hype girl for that organization. But, yes, micro yeses will keep you walking. And I don’t know, I think Julia Cameron might have said this. If you take one step forward, the Universe takes 10,000 back. And that’s true on, again, both a meta and a very practical in these earth bodies, kind of grounded in the brain nervous system science, because those micro yeses then compound, and then one plus one doesn’t equal to one micro yes. Plus one micro yes equals me eating a yogurt. And now I’m sitting on this podcast talking to you. So it sort of unlocks that acceleration sort of wormhole through once you

00:10:00

Britt Frank: get them going. And I cannot. And again, here’s the, here’s the caveat with them, though, because I’ll have people message me and say, well, I’m doing my micro yeses, and, nothing’s changing. I’m still stuck. Okay, but in order to bank the micro yes and have it work, you can’t beat yourself up after you do it. So if I put my left shoe by the door. Yeah, I did my micro yes. If I then get on the couch and say, ugh, well, yeah, I I put my shoe by the door. But this is stupid. Everything is stupid. I’m not going to get anywhere. That’s the dumbest. Like, that’s just not. Well, you’re going to undo your benefit. You don’t need to have a, you know, you don’t need to create a social media reel around it, although, yay if you do. But, like, you can just honor, yay, I did a thing. Cool. Better text someone and have a micro yes, buddy. So you can share these silly little things with other people, and then you get a double upward vortex, which is really fun when you can bank off of someone else’s micro wins by, oh, like, they did that. I can do that. Well, I did that. They can do that. And then together, you’re creating it up spiral, which is very fun. So you’re a speaker.

Julie Jancius: You’ll get this. I did a TED talk earlier this year, and when you do a TED talk, they really walk you through the science of how to give a talk what it needs to be. I mean, I think I did this thing eight times before I actually went live. And each time you do it for me, new information kept going in, like, oh, I should cut this out, put this in, and spirit ended up showing me this mathematical equation by the end of that process, which is. And I believe it’s a matter of listening to your intuition. Like, your Angels are always guiding you, your guides, your loved ones on the other side, they’re always showing you the way forward. It’s just a matter of, like, are you listening? Are you taking action? So the mathematical equation is, some people listen two times a year, like, legit. They just tune in on the big decisions. I got this career thing coming up. What do I do? I’m in this challenge with a partner. What do I do? Some people, listen once a week, right? Like, 52 times a year. Some people listen 100 times a day, and that comes out to 36,500 times a day. And then spirit goes. Julie, multiply that over the course of 80 years. You know, let’s say from the time you’re 20 till the time you’re 100. Some people listen, like, 160 times in their entire lifetime. Some people listen 3 million. That’s a huge difference in energy.

Britt Frank: Yes, it is.

Julie Jancius: An outcome, an outcome, an outcome. And so I think that that number really gets to the point of, you know, some people, a lot of people, I think, and I was stuck in this for a long time. We look at others to compare ourselves. Where am I in, you know, the plot of humanity? How am I doing, compared to everybody else? Why are others more far advanced than I am? I think when you’re just taking even those micro yeses forward because it’s hard and it takes courage and it takes bravery. You’re part of that population that’s going to listen 3 million times in their lifetime.

Britt Frank: Yes. And the microscopic size steps that we’re talking about don’t require inspiration or they don’t feel like anything. It’s not even that they don’t feel good. They don’t feel bad. It feels like nothing is happening. But again, just because it doesn’t feel like anything is happening does not negate the reality that a lot is happening. Each micro step forward sends so many messages on all levels, from the energetic to the neurological and the cellular level. Micro steps do a lot of jobs, none of which you can feel or see, but they, they work. I mean, you can’t argue with it. And what’s so great about them is when people say, I feel so stuck, I don’t know what to do. Instead of going into the analysis of why or waiting for the perfect sign or the perfect moment, switch the question to, well, what are, what are three micro yeses you could do right now? Like, I don’t know what the answer is. I don’t know what the answer is. Should I stay or should I go? I don’t know. Should I start that business? I don’t know. What are three micro yeses? And that unlocks the whole thing.

Julie Jancius: Ready for a little getaway that completely resets your energy? We’re hosting a live, in person spiritual retreat called a, whole new Youtland. It’s the weekend of October 4 in Oakbrook, Illinois. This spiritual retreat is all about your own personal healing and growth, reconnecting with yourself, learning to connect with your Angels. And I’m going to talk about all new Angels that I’ve never talked about anywhere before.

00:15:00

Julie Jancius: And you’re going to leave with more personal peace, purpose, clarity, and confidence than ever before. Learn more and see the itinerary@theangelmedium.com. retreat that’s theangelmedium.com retreat. Links are in the show notes and friend, I cannot wait to meet you and hug you in person. I’ve got a great story that goes along with it. So I was having one of the hardest days of my life. Decided to leave my grandma’s, like, end of life, where I got to say goodbye to her early. And I was so upset when I got to the airport, I didn’t know what to do, and I just felt so broken inside. And I just said, you know, spirit Angels, what do I do? And I heard, go sit down, which I never do in restaurants. I never sit down and have a bite to eat. Go sit down. You’re hungry. Eat something. Go through security, go grab a bottle of water at the gift shop. Go sit down at your gate. Like, that was it. And it sounds stupid. Like, it felt stupid. And I remember calling a girlfriend, you know, while I was sitting at the restaurant, and she’s like, just follow. Just follow. So I did, and I got to the gift shop to get my water followed in order, and I pass this woman and I go, I know her. Where do I know her from? It was Lauralynn Jackson, the woman who wrote the book signs. And I’ve been trying to have her on the podcast for like, five years. Well, this was in 2023. She ended up coming on to tell this story because it was just too good. but when I feel broken, when I feel lost, when I feel completely at a loss that I don’t know what’s the next step to go. I sit down and I say, Angels tell me what to do. And it tends to be something that sounds so little, but it’s not exactly.

Britt Frank: Like, in hindsight, looking back on the narrative arc of your journey, those are the moments that precede the moments.

Julie Jancius: Yeah. So you have this story, I don’t. Can we share it and have you share your story of how you got unstuck? Because addiction, I think, is something that we all have in one format or another. We’re all addicted to one thing. How did you break free?

Britt Frank: So first, it’s so important for me to say it wasn’t, like I had an insight and I saw the light and then I turned and chained. It was not like that. It was a lot of false starts. It was a lot of sideways forwards, two steps forward, one step backwards, laying flat on my face for years. And it was. I really liked the Hollywood story of, I had that moment of insight and then everything changed. And it was not that nice and clean for me. It was.

Julie Jancius: I don’t think it is for anybody.

Britt Frank: I don’t either. But, you know, if that’s your story and that’s, like, your thing, I celebrate and honor you. I just can’t relate. Not my story, for sure. And like you said, it’s a lot of people’s story. And so I tried the very, you know, like, the way of addiction is your battle, and you’re going to fight it and you’re going to beat it. And all of these battle war metaphors that I later learned were priming my brain to release more stress hormones, because if the enemy of your well being lives inside you, you can’t escape. There’s nowhere to go. And so I used, when things started finally working, the one of the ways, the primary ways I got unstuck with, obviously, solving for safety and resources and all of that. You know, I. I had more choices than some people do, and I honor that. but what if addiction is not a monster in your head? But what if addiction is a terrified little child, part of you screaming that she’s in pain, and that changes everything from your fighting yourself to your learning to uncover those lost, hidden parts of you and learning to love them home. That changed everything for me.

Julie Jancius: Now, how did you start? Like, where did you even begin with that?

Britt Frank: Well, I was living in the fundamentalist cult at the time, and I stumbled upon a non approved book because you’re not allowed to read anything but the books they give you. I stumbled upon a book by doctor Richard Schwartz, who created internal family systems, which is, a type of therapy that I now practice and very much cosign. It’s wonderful. So I sat there with that book, sort of like, in one of the pews, just sort of reading it. There’s the fact, once again, what is your angel?

Julie Jancius: They’re talking to you through fireworks today and those little orbs.

Britt Frank: This is so funny. Okay, so I’m just like, what? So I’m reading this book about, hey, everyone has multiple parts of their personality, and what if every part of you was valuable and

00:20:00

Britt Frank: precious and wonderful? Not all behaviors are valuable and precious and wonderful, but what if every single part of you was there doing a job on your behalf? And so that book unlocked a path that eventually led me to doing that therapy and also doing somatic work and honoring the fact that all of these m mental processes happen inside a body and a nervous system. And then it was a very slow process of reparenting and unlearning and reinstalling and uninstalling and saying, I don’t want to do this. It’s too hard. But when I learned that even our scariest symptoms are messengers and they’re trying to help, not hurt, that that really did change the whole orientation of everything.

Julie Jancius: I want to go into this deeper because I don’t know that everybody really gets what we mean by this, but when you start to look at life this way, which is why I’ve actually stopped having a lot of people on that do a lot of shadow work, because I just don’t agree with how it’s being done. We don’t want to get rid of the ego. We don’t want to get rid of the shadow. It’s that when you start to see that every emotion, every vibration, every thought that comes up is guiding you to a piece of information that’s within you, that you need to have an awareness of, a presence of in order to love it or move through it up the spiral of life to your next conscious evolution. Life becomes very, very different. And those pains that we feel within don’t become bad. We’re not wrong people for having them. We get to love ourselves on a deeper level and, start to have boundaries and come into a whole nother place of healing. We talk about that, but then also once you get there, that can be hard, because once you’ve gone through all of that work to do that healing, you’re not really willing to let other people come in and undo the healing that you’ve done. And that kind of creates a different phase of life as well.

Britt Frank: It’s so true. I’m so glad you named that about the way that some are teaching the work. I just feel so sad when people talk about killing your ego, because I’m like, yeah. Ah, but, like, your ego helps filter all of, like, if you didn’t have your ego, you wouldn’t be a functional human being. The problem isn’t the presence of ego. The problem isn’t even the presence of some of the really scary thoughts, and I think them, too. And again, full disclosure, I go to therapy, I take Medicaid, I do all of the things that I need to do to support my body and my brain. But even our scariest things are not the problem. It’s ifs internal family systems, which honors. This part of my brain feels like this part of it feels like that you’re not broken. It’s just that we’re all comprised of multiple aspects of our minds are not one thing. It’s a whole family of people with different motivations and roles and likes and dislikes happening, running around up in your psyche. But when you understand the job they’re all doing, you don’t need to get rid of them, which is such good news, because you can’t. I tried for years to silence the voice. Like, kick your inner critic to the curb. No, give your inner critic a hug and a snack because they’re a scared little kid who doesn’t know how the world works. It’s like, imagine if you could stop fighting or, you know, fighting all of the, all the parts of myself that I learned to hate or fear, ended up being parts that are the most valuable members of my inner society. That does not mean I let my little drug addicts run the show. It’s still in there. To think, oh, I feel sad. Let’s go use. It’s not hard for me to not use anymore. Other things are hard. That’s not one of them. But the voice is still there. The voice isn’t the problem and it’s not the enemy. It’s just a little part of me giving me information. And some days I need to really attend. Some days I can just remind her we’re okay. But it depends on how I’m doing, how much work is needed in a moment.

Julie Jancius: Well, and I think that we’re talking about something, that this is really, really valuable, beneficial information to the listener because there is a difference between when what I believe, God, Universe, source, your Angels, your loved ones on the other side come in and communicate. And they’re never going to bypass your free will, right? Like, they’re never going to make decisions for you. They’re never going to bring through unloving information. It’s only kind, loving, positive information that can only help you and help others. It’s just love. So there does have to be. But this is where I think most people get stuck, is that there are a lot of teachers out there who then stop there, right? Like then everything

00:25:00

Julie Jancius: else is bad and wrong. It’s not. We have to learn to distinguish that there’s really multiple different voices within and all either come from love or come from like a fear. But the parts that come from fear aren’t bad or wrong. They just need the sensitivity and the awareness. Where I think that being a spiritual teacher and having massive amounts of people come in, like if 100 people or 1000 people come in for a course, it’s hard to guide everybody on an individual level, but you have to really be kind and gentle and hold a person’s mental space in order for them to not. And it’s so easy, and I think that the cultish mentality is so easy for people to dive into. Is there a part of us, you know, because you’ve studied this, is there a part of us that almost wants to make ourselves bad and wrong?

Britt Frank: Oh, I definitely did it, studied it, did it, learned it, lived it. Being bad and wrong is not, and again, we’re not taught, we’re not dealing in good or bad. Let’s just look. And I love that you do the same. Like, let’s just look at it as information. If I am, the problem, if it is all me, and I’m not talking about accountability, I’m talking about I am just going to beat myself senselessly with a sense of wrongness and unlovability and unworthiness. Well, that does create a pretty guaranteed outcome. Our brains do not like uncertainty. Our brains like on a basic level, like patterns and predictions and familiarity over health. Like our brain will prioritize familiarity over health and wellness every time.

Julie Jancius: Wow.

Britt Frank: So if I’m wrong, I have now obliterated uncertainty. And so that’s an important thing to know. It’s not like you’re doing it on purpose. It’s like I didn’t know that my brain would rather the familiarity of the bad over the uncertainty of the potential good. That’s why hope is difficult, because it’s uncertain. And it feels really icky sometimes now, feeling like I am, the problem, I am terrible. Doesn’t feel good, but there’s a comfort in it on a brain basis that’s like, well, at least I know what this is.

Julie Jancius: And I get that. I get that on a deep level. You know, when my daughter was sick, she was born as a medically fragile child. And at one point she had like eleven doctors and twelve different therapists. And we kept going in with this hope to every new doctor being like. And she coded twice. Within the first six months she was tube fed completely. But for the first, three years, we would go in to every new doctor and we took her around the country to find like the solutions that she needed. You had so much hope, and then by the time you’ve seen like 30 doctors or twelve, you, you go, I don’t know, I don’t know if this person is going to have the answer, but I have to keep going, I have to keep pushing to try and find out. I think that that’s so fascinating, what you said about hope. Are there steps that people take that you found that scientifically help them to get to a place where they can hope?

Britt Frank: So it’s so interesting, and I cannot say enough good things about the internal family systems model. It’s just so good. It’s interesting that the most hole I have ever felt required me to honor all of the fragmented pieces. And so I could not feel wholeness, hope, joy, or any of those good things that we want in a sustainable way. Until I recognize that the part of me that’s a hoping is not the me. There’s a, there’s a me. Ifs calls it the self, capital s self. You can call it christ, consciousness, core self, whatever you want to buy, whatever name you call it, there’s the observer. And the part of you having the experience, hope, like the uncertainty and discomfort of hope, becomes palatable when the part of me that’s hoping is being led by a, by the self who is going to be, you know, what you hope. And if this doesn’t work out, I’m still here and I still have you. And that allows for the grossness of uncertainty. When you can have that separation in your psyche of self and parts. You are not the parts. The partists are not you. There’s that core self that’s tied to Source that connects all of us, and that’s who should be in charge of all of the things. Wow.

Julie Jancius: you have this quote that I just love, and I want to share it before we move on to this next question. But you say addiction is what happens when our desire to avoid pain outweighs our capacity to endure it. Like, mine blown.

Britt Frank: I got some angry people with that one, but I do stand by it, and I was intentionally sort of riding the edge on that one. Well, you’re saying my desire to avoid pain. So you’re saying it’s a choice, and it’s like, nope, not saying that. I’m saying there’s a functionality. Addiction

00:30:00

Britt Frank: is not just a monster that comes and gets you, it’s doing a. And again, I’m not saying it’s good or that we should be resigned to stay this way. I’m not saying it’s a choice. I’m saying addiction’s job is pain management, even. But addiction causes pain and kills people. I get that too. But again, remember, parts of your brain all have different motivations. Addiction is a part of you who thinks the best way for you to survive is to go to that guaranteed pain over there. Again, addiction is not good, but it is a way to decrease uncertainty. When I’m addicted to drugs, I can pretty much guarantee what my outcome is going to be.

Julie Jancius: Is there a way to show yourself? Like, what else? It could kind of guarantee itself that overrides that, that piece.

Britt Frank: So the presence of self is really what makes all of that happen. So it’s not external, it’s not let me control my partner. It’s like, it’s not, let me make sure that this job is always there, make sure I always have this, you know, whatever. The thing is, it’s the presence of selfdevelop will make the pain that’s demanded by the recovery process tolerable. The presence of self makes the grueling nature of trauma healing, which is not a pretty process. The presence of self makes that possible. The presence of self tells that addicted part. Baby, you don’t have to do that job anymore, because I can take this pain. I can walk with you through this pain. And again, it’s not simple, and it’s sort of complex and sort of like, wait, what? But that. That is the thing. addiction is a pain problem, not a moral problem, not a choice problem. It’s a pain problem. And the presence of a self then makes that process manageable. And then the next question is, well, how do I do that? And it’s like, well, first we have to stop the fighting. You can’t fight yourself. You got to start with your brains on your side. All your parts are on your side. You’re all on the same team, and you’re not trying to get rid of anyone.

Julie Jancius: So becoming the observer of your thoughts, becoming that watcher, becoming present and aware. And what I call in oneness is really where science and spirituality start to intersect.

Britt Frank: Isn’t it great? Wow.

Julie Jancius: Oh, yes.

Britt Frank: So good.

Julie Jancius: So you say, and I love this quote, too. Doing the same things over and over and expecting different results is not a sign of insanity. It’s a sign of pain.

Britt Frank: Thank you for bringing that one. Yeah. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Like, that thing has been around for, I think it’s been attributed to Einstein, but no one really knows who said it or the context. But, like, it’s accepted as gospel truth of the definition of insanity. Like, let’s start with this. Insanity is a legal term. There’s no such thing as an insane person. And I say this as a licensed trauma specialist clinician. Insanity is not a thing. Well, what, having a mental illness doesn’t make you insane. Seeing things, hearing things, also does not make you insane. It’s like, that’s a great legal thing, but there’s no such thing as crazy or insanity. There’s lots of other things going on. And underneath every extreme symptom, you’re going to find a good reason for its presence. That’s the other thing. And I’ve worked in patient psych with a lot of really, really extreme looking things. And when you read the case file, it’s like, oh, this makes sense. And again, I’m not saying just leave them there. I’m saying it makes sense. And if it makes sense, it’s not insanity. So, with that said, doing the same things over and over and over again and expecting a, different result is how our brains brain again, our brains are pattern seeking, prediction, repetition, things that will keep doing the same thing over and over in an effort to get a different outcome. But that’s not insanity. That’s pain. It’s like you’re in pain, clearly. So let’s solve for pain. let’s not try to solve for. And again, this has nothing to do with medication. I take psych meds, but that’s not because I’m insane without them. It’s because my brain doesn’t brain write without them.

Julie Jancius: No. I think it’s just so healing on so many different levels. I mean, you study, like, women not being part of leadership for so long, and women being burned at the stake, and, you know, even in the 1950s, lock her up in the asylum for insanity. You know, if she’s going through menopause or she had an affair or she did that, it’s pain. It all comes back down to pain. But women really haven’t been allowed to feel pain.

Britt Frank: Oh, my God. Or have. How many women? And I can raise my hand, too, where you go to your doctor and you tell them, and they say it’s all in your head. I’ve had that experience more than a few times. It’s like, you’re not allowed to have pain. We’re going to not acknowledge the reality of your pain, and we’re not going to believe you about your pain. And then we wonder, why anxiety? Why depression? Why burnout? Why stress? But

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Britt Frank: those are symptoms, and storytellers, those are not. They are problematic. But the problem is a pain problem, not a you problem.

Julie Jancius: So I’m just listening to you, and I’m watching what spirit showing me. And it feels like a lot of your work is kind of undoing for women this process that we’ve been around generationally, energetically, vibrationally for Eonstein, and really experiencing life in a completely different way. I want to say, too, I’ve studied the work of internal family systems, but spirit and your Angels, Brit, just need you to know this. Is it okay if I bring through a little message?

Britt Frank: Yes. Thank you for asking. I so appreciate that.

Julie Jancius: And I only believe in bringing in positive, loving messages, because sometimes people can bring in ick, and this is just for anybody listening. I don’t. I don’t like, I don’t give my energy over to just anybody. But your Angels keep coming in, saying that it’s the way that you say things that really helps other people to hit home in their hearts and make changes and feel different and see things different. And, it’s Frank Schwartz who started that, right?

Britt Frank: Dick Schwartze.

Julie Jancius: Dick Schwartz. I think he’s absolutely wonderful. And yet, what I see spirit say all the time is that we need messengers to keep carrying on the message in all different aspects of life. So I hope you really just stand proud in the work that you’re doing and know that it’s you. That nobody else could do this the way that you do. And your Angels are just so proud of what a messenger you are in your life. I received that. Thank you so much.

Britt Frank: Thank you, everybody that’s here.

Julie Jancius: Amazing. So again, another cool quote that just kind of ties into what we’re talking about today. Breath work, too. And this really hit me at my heart. Breath work can be problematic for a nervous system with unprocessed trauma. Tell us about that.

Britt Frank: And I’m not anti breath work. I’m not anti breath work practitioners. I’m not anti people who like breath work. If you like it, have at it, do it. Great. However, there’s another group of us, and I say us because I figured this out just through trial and error for my own process. Breath work, sometimes for some people, can have the opposite effect. And again, I’ll just distill it. Simply, I have trigger warning for people. I’m about to talk about a hard thing. I have, a lot of sexual assault trauma, one of which included strangulation trauma. And so when I try to force breath into my system or counting breathe, it triggers my fight or flight response. And my body just does not want anything forced into it. Like, I. I do fine meditating out. I do fine with all of that. But a lot of the breathing techniques will trigger what’s called sympathetic activation, which is just your brain going, no, no, no. Or else actually just your brain going up, up, up. My brain was going, no, no, no, no, no. But breath work can activate. And if you have medical trauma, if you’ve ever been intubated and then someone tells you, take a deep breath and hold it when you count to five, that can trigger that. And if. Even if you don’t know why, again, we don’t need to know why, assume if breath work. If your intuition is telling you that breath work is just not your thing, that’s okay. I can’t. I’m a big advocate of people for whom it works. I still can’t do it, and it’s fine. There’s so many wonderful healing practices. Why for. I mean, could I sit down and force myself to unlearn, like, maybe. But why?

Julie Jancius: Yeah.

Britt Frank: So breath work can be problematic for multiple reasons on multiple levels. And again, you’re not wrong. I’m a big advocate of not. What’s wrong with me that I can’t do breath work. It’s, oh, wow. This is information. My body doesn’t want air being forced into it or being restricted or being managed. Great. That’s. That’s a. That’s a piece of information that I can now use.

Julie Jancius: Well, and what’s fascinating is that we all don’t have conscious memory of that. Like, my child was intubated, but she was a less than six months old. And so that that can come up and you can maybe not even realize that trauma that you had earlier on in those first couple of years.

Britt Frank: Exactly. And, you know, for parents who are conscious, who can tell the kids, like, yay. But all of a sudden, I’m in a yoga class trying to breathe, and I’m crying and sweating and shaking. And I just thought, well, there’s something very wrong with me. And it’s like, I don’t know why, but your body is very smart. Let’s assume your body is on your side, and it’s telling you something that needs to be heard.

Julie Jancius: Fascinating. Fascinating. All right. This is another one of my favorites, and I think this is going to help so many people here. The belief that making a good decision should instantaneously produce a good feeling is one of those myths that keeps us stuck.

Britt Frank: Yay. I love that one, too, because it’s so true. It’s

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Britt Frank: like, why do I feel worse than ever having made this good decision? And the expectation that a good thing is going to feel good is a big expectation that will keep us stuck or from persistent. And I’ll give you a really, like, pithy example. Leg day feels bad. Cocaine feels good, done right. Like, things that are good for us don’t necessarily feel good. So I decided to get healthy and leave my abusive relationship and quit doing drugs. I’m talking about me, and those are objectively good decisions. I had never felt worse. It was an incredible withdrawal. Again, my brain doesn’t do good bad. My brain does. We know this now. We’re not getting the thing that we know that’s bad, so we’re going to make you feel bad. It’s called withdrawal or detox. And so if we can set the expectation that all change, even positive change, can kind of register in your brain as baddeh and make it feel really, really bad before it doesn’t, then we won’t be so thrown off course when it happens. Like, oh, this must be the wrong decision because I don’t feel good. Well, no, I don’t feel good when I work out because my muscles are being ripped and all of the lactic acid. But that doesn’t mean anything bad is happening again. Cocaine before it’s really, really bad feels really, really good. That’s why it’s addictive. That doesn’t mean it is good. What feels good, what looks good, does not mean the isness of that thing is good. So we have to go to what’s really happening here. So making a good decision usually feels terrible before it doesn’t.

Julie Jancius: Well, and I think it’s something to be said about just living life, too. Like, living life isn’t a fairy tale always. It’s hard, and it’s hard work, and it’s grueling, and we’re always gonna. There’s just gonna be challenges, and there’s gonna be things that come up. And I think what’s hard is consistently making the good choice over years and years and years, even when you don’t know exactly how it’s going to turn out, even though you don’t know why. Spirit saying, take this piece of action. But again, going back to that mathematical equation, some people follow 160 times in their lifetime. Some people follow 3 million. And, it’s different. It feels like a different life.

Britt Frank: And I’ve lived both. And I like this one a lot. Yeah, this one works.

Julie Jancius: I like this one, too. I like this one. That’s awesome. All right. I like this one, too, because I like to feel at home within myself. but you say, when it doesn’t feel like home inside of ourselves, we’ll search for it inside the people we love, the work we pursue, or the other things we buy, but it isn’t there.

Britt Frank: Yeah, that one’s a bummer because, and again, I have so much compassion for people who say, well, what if I can’t feel a sense of home inside? And I’m like, if you don’t have access to resources and basic needs and systemic things that you need, again, that’s tragic, but that’s not a you problem. That is often what we call moral or personal failings are systemic failings. And that does not mean that this is on you. But that said, we still want the ideal. The goal is to have the sense of home be an internal. The psychopychologist academic world calls this internal locus of control versus external locus of control. It’s like, okay, let’s just call it. Home is inside, which means, yes, we need other people. Yes, we’re wired for connection. Yes, we need relationships and meaningful work. And things can be fun, and that’s great. But home is this place inside where you know that you can be unconditionally loved. And the only place as an adult. Hot take. The only place as an adult that unconditional love is available and appropriate is inside love. As the, act of extending love as the world, one consciousness on the higher level. Yes, unconditional. But as we bring it down to we’re in human bodies, all relationships should have conditions. If you hurt me, I may love you from the meta level, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to extend love to you on the human level. And so home is an inside job.

Julie Jancius: Oh, I love how you said that. Let’s just go back and say that one more time for the people are like that. That went by too fast. If somebody is harming you, you can love them from the place of oneness where your higher self, your highest self, loves them unconditionally. But as your human self, you don’t have to extend them love to keep getting harmed and harmed and harmed.

Britt Frank: Exactly. I’ll even argue it’s profoundly unloving to extend love to someone causing harm. That’s enabling. So if sometimes the most, sometimes the most loving way and kind way to be in relationships with someone is to not be. That’s a tough spill to swallow for. I was a people

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Britt Frank: pleaser fixer, you know, I can love you into wellness, but what if the most loving thing I can do is refuse to be on the receiving end of the harm that you’re causing out of your own pain?

Julie Jancius: This is a hard one for me because I, believe that and I’ve seen that show up within my life. But I also am very aware that there’s a lot of crazy cults out there that intentionally try and put a wedge between you and your family. You were in a cult. can you speak to the difference between what we just talked about and being loving of ourselves versus this cult mentality and how people. Because after I started talking about this last year, in December, people reached out and they were like, Julie, I was a part of that cult. Or, you know, and it took a lot of strength to get out. So I want to be sensitive and respectful of that. But sometimes people can find themselves in these situations where they’re being mentally manipulated. What’s the difference between a cult trying to remove you from your family and you being loving of yourself.

Britt Frank: I love that question. And I’ve been watching the documentaries that have been coming out, and when I hear people say, well, how could they? I’m like, I get how they could. Like, I’ve been there. And if you were to have asked me then, is this group telling you, you can’t be like. I’m like, I would have said no out of my own free will I am making, because they had so subtly convinced me to be afraid of all of the people around me. And so if you’re around these unspiritual people, you’re going to hell. So you can’t let them in. If you’re around your family or your friends who don’t believe what we believe, demons are going to come and take over your body, and then you’re going to go to hell. So it was like, all kinds of, all roads lead to hell. It was a very fear based. You need to restrict access to the all of the outside world in order to be whole and safe and saved and all of that. When I chose to stop having harmful people in my life, it wasn’t because I was afraid of them. So the way the cults do it is they install this sense of fear. And you can feel in your body whether you’re blocking someone out of a fear based place or out of a. I, love myself too much to be part of this thing now. I’ve had things perpetrated against me. I am afraid of those people. I’m afraid of being harmed. I’m also a woman in the world. I am afraid of things. But if you’re saying, I’m going no contact with my entire family, if I said to you, why? And you’re like, I don’t want them. Like, I don’t want their energy coming into me, it’s like, okay, but like, let’s explore that. And again, I’m not here to tell someone when and how and who they should go no contact with. I will say cults do it from a very fear based plate. You ask anyone in the cult, why aren’t you talking to them? Because I don’t want them to, like, kind of goop me. I’m paraphrasing here, but, like, I don’t want their stuff gooping my stuff. That’s different than, you know what, I recognize your humanity. I recognize your consciousness. But I love myself too much to tolerate this or allow this. Therefore, there’s a grief, there’s a subtle undertone of grief to a no contact boundary that exists from love that does not exist when you’re doing it from a place of fear. In the same way these bubbles that.

Julie Jancius: Keep popping up, it’s like spirit is talking through. Like, the visuals that keep popping up as you’re talking. It’s amazing. I love how you said that. I think it’s. It’s what a lot of people need to hear. So thank you for being able to share your story. on that. Let’s see. This is another quote of yours that I think is just, like, mind blown. The things we learn to call mental health problems are often our brains best efforts at the solutions.

Britt Frank: Yeah, mind blown when I learned that.

Julie Jancius: And it is, and it’s everything that we’ve been talking about today, but our brain is always trying to come up with the best solution to keep us healthy, to keep us protected. And are we wrong in calling them problems or challenges? I mean, there’s just things that come up in life. What’s the best words to refer to them so that we embrace them? The best.

Britt Frank: Yeah, and I’m certainly not trying to gatekeep terms. You know, like, I’m, big on free will. Call it whatever you want if it’s useful for you. And yes, depression, anxiety, panic. I had OCD. I had trichotillin mania, which is a hair pulling disorder where out of your anxiety, you just sort of, like, yank out your own hair all over the place. And so, like, these are problematic. I’m not saying they’re not challenges. I’m not saying that they’re not problems. But the easiest way to describe this is if my check engine light comes on in my car and I bring my car to a mechanic, and I say, mechanic, my check engine light is on. They’re not going to then diagnose the car with check engine light disorder. Like what? Wait, no. The check engine lights a signal that tells me I have to bring it somewhere, and someone needs to get under the hood and help me understand what the problem is. All of these things that the mental health world historically has called diseases or disorders are the check engine

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Britt Frank: light of your brain’s dashboard. Are they problems? Yes. Can they sometimes be life threatening, debilitating, medically crisis? Yes, of course. But even our scariest symptoms are signals. And, the mental health world is still operating off of a fundamentally outdated, like the DSM, which is the diagnostic statistical manual of Mental Disorders, the big giant book that your therapist or psychiatrist diagnoses you with. There’s only been five versions of it since, like, the fifties. Imagine if you were still on the fifth version of your phone, it’s like, that’s. No, we’re still using something that’s only been updated five times, which is largely based off of, like, there’s political motives and profit. And again, I’m not an alarmist. Like, yes, we need that book for insurance coverage, and so we can understand our symptoms, but somewhere along the way, we learn to hate ourselves and we learn to call our brains survival efforts, diseases. And again, are they problems? Yes, but let’s call them what they are. They’re signals. They’re symptoms. Panic doesn’t attack you, it signals you. So I’m big. If you’re one of my clients, you know, I’m having a panic signal. I’m having a panic episode. Panic is hitting me, but it’s like, I don’t even like that one. Panic is happening, okay? But it’s not attacking you. All right, one.

Julie Jancius: And that’s brilliant. Brilliant. I love the check engine, Carly. I’m going to use that in the future. You also say that there aren’t five stages of grief, that there really aren’t stages of grief. And I really wanted to bring that up for the listeners here, because so many have lost somebody close to them, and instead you refer to them as tasks of grief. So I wonder if you can kind of help people see this from your perspective.

Britt Frank: Full disclosure, not my perspective. The five stages of grief. Elizabeth Kubler Ross came up with that model, and it’s a beautiful, compassionate model that she developed for people dying, not for people who have lost people. So the five stages of grief were for people that were contending with life threatening illnesses as they were nearing the end of that illness. So five stages of grief were never intended for people in a divorce or losing a loved one, or whatever the loss might be. The four tasks of grief is not my model. Doctor Warden, J. William Warden over at Harvard, who is, like, the premier expert in this, the four tasks of grief, that’s his model, and it is the gold standard in grief work. And the four tasks, for me, it makes more sense, because grief doesn’t happen in nice, neat, clean stages. The four tasks of grief that warden outlines are number one, except that the thing happened. That is a lot easier said than done. Sometimes task one can take years or a lifetime. Like, it happens, they’re gone. The thing happened. And I’m paraphrasing these tasks, so apologies, I’ve never met the Man, but paraphrasing task two, feel your feelings again. That one can take years or decades. You have to identify them you have to feel them and not feeling flooded by them. Feeling your feelings doesn’t mean I’m now overwhelmed by my feelings. Feeling your feelings means there’s enough observer available that you can be with the feeling instead of being flooded by the feeling. That’s, again, easier said than done. Task three is to figure out what adjustments in your life need to happen. So if you lost a partner who was the financial person? Well, now I need to learn how to do finances. That’s a task three thing. And then task four is about meaning making. I call it the now what task. It’s like, okay, I’ve accepted that it’s happened. I felt my feelings. I’ve adjusted my life to accommodate for the absence of this person or this thing. Now what? What are my choices now? How do I make my life meaningful even with you don’t get over grief. You don’t get over loss. You, it becomes part of the fabric of who you are.

Julie Jancius: That’s incredible. My goodness, Brett, you are just such a breath of fresh air, and you have just such. This beautiful perspective. And I see you as a messenger yourself. I’m just so thankful for you and the work that you put out into this world. I hope that you can tell everybody where they can find your book. Your work. Your, book is the science of unstuck. Your workbook. We’ll put that all in the show notes below. Your website, Instagram. Lay it all out there.

Britt Frank: Thank you so much. This was so fun. Oh, my goodness. I could have gone for another hour. So my book, the science of stuck, and the getting unstuck workbook are available wherever you buy books. My insta is ritfrank. Brit has two t’s. It’s not short for Britney, it’s just Brit. And ah, my website is scienceofstuck.com.

Julie Jancius: Amazing. Thank you so much, friends, for listening today. And Britt, thank you for being here.

Britt Frank: Thank you.

Julie Jancius: Friends. I need your help reaching as many people as possible. If you’d like to support this podcast and help us, spread more hope to the world, please book a session with me, join my angel membership, or take my Angel Reiki school. What’s the difference? If you’d like to know what messages your Angels and loved ones have for you, you’ll want to book a session with me. The angel membership

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Julie Jancius: is all about your own personal spiritual healing. The membership takes you on a spiritual journey that teaches you how to create your own heaven on earth. And the Angel Reiki school is for those who want to get certified in mediumship. Angel messages and energy healing all at once. These are three ways you can help us share a message of hope and love with more people than ever before. Register for one or all three@theangelmedium.com. that’s theangelmedium.com dot. Now let’s pray together. As we do, I want you to pray in a way where you feel as though everything you want for yourself and the world has already come true and you’re giving thanks. Why? Because this is the best way to manifest. So let’s begin. God Universe Source thank you. We’re so grateful that you’ve blessed this world with calm and peace for all. This calm and peace has spread like ripples, soothing the hearts of every Soul. Thank you for opening our hearts to abundance, allowing each of us to live our most authentic life and helping us to create our own heaven on earth. We thank you for the love and deep heart to heart connection that surrounds us every day in our relationships. We thank you for the abundance of health and aliveness we feel radiating from every cell in our and our families bodies. Thank you for the gift of walking this life with us and guiding us every step of the way through your messages. We hear you through our own intuition and we feel you walking right by our sides and we overflow with gratitude. Thank you for financial abundance and abundance of opportunities and miracles, blessings and prosperity in every way. We know that you want us to succeed so that we can show others how you want them to succeed too. Thank you for the boundless love, kindness, Empathy and compassion that binds us all together. Thank you for the laughter, fun moments of pure delight that fill us every day, especially today. God Universe Source thank you for blessing us beyond measure and allowing us to use our souls gifts, talents, skills and abilities to serve the world. We love you. I love you. And in this we pray. Amen. Friends, we’re working on some pretty major things over here and if you wouldn’t mind saying a little prayer that these things come to fruition, if they’re God’s will, we’d so appreciate it. And please add a little prayer in for any specific thing you need right now too. Have a beautiful blessed day and don’t forget to submit your contact info@theangelmedium.com. dot if you’d like me to channel the name of one of your Angels for you, sending you peace, bliss and many blessings.

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