Hello beautiful souls! Warren Kozak said after the passing of his wife, “To those around me—my friends, my colleagues, even my daughter—I appear normal, but in one very fundamental way, I am not. The old me left with my wife. I’m not sure who this new person is—I am still evolving. But I will tell you this with absolute certainty: I am not the same person I was before my wife died on January 1, 2018.” For anyone struggling with the loss of a spouse—anyone whose world has been turned upside down in a way they’ve never encountered before—here is something that could help. Warren’s book, Waving Goodbye, is a candid, honest, and approachable guide to dealing with the death of a spouse written by a very ordinary guy who has lived through the ordeal. Despite the shattering heartbreak and insurmountable grief, Warren shares what worked, what didn’t, and the insights he learned along the way to help anyone who has suffered this kind of loss. If you’d like to develop your gifts of mediumship, angel messages and energy healing in my Angel Reiki School, or if you’d like to share your angel story, please visit theangelmedium.com for more information.

To learn more about Warren Kozak’s work:
warrenkozak.com

++++++++++

I’m hosting my first-ever in-person events at Oak Brook, Illinois! I can’t wait to see you there.

• Angel Reiki School June 1 and 2, 2024 (early bird pricing expires May 10) Learn more at TheAngelMedium.com/Get-Certified
• Spiritual Retreat on October 4 – 6, 2024. Learn more at TheAngelMedium.com/Retreat

Thank you for listening to the Angels and Awakening podcast! Post about today’s episode on your social media accounts and tag us @angelpodcast. We couldn’t do it without your support. Every purchase and donation helps us run our podcasts and the World’s Largest Prayer Network. Thank you!

WORK WITH JULIE

• Angel Membership: https://theangelmedium.com/angelmembership

• Angel Reiki School: https://theangelmedium.com/get-certified
• Book A Session: https://theangelmedium.com/readings
• Buy Julie’s Book, Angels and Awakening, on Amazon.com
• Don’t know where to start? Book a discovery call with Julie: https://calendly.com/juliejancius/discovery-call

FREEBIES

• Angel Newsletter: www.theangelmedium.com
• Angels and Awakening Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/angels-and-awakening/id1451424894
• World’s Largest Prayer Network: https://www.worldslargestprayernetwork.com/
• Intuitive Kids Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1650866422

SOCIAL MEDIA

Watch out for scammers who impersonate Julie’s accounts. Julie will never DM you for a session. All purchases go through www.theangelmedium.com.

• Instagram: http://instagram.com/angelpodcast/  
• TikTok: @angelpodcast 
• Facebook Group: http://facebook.com/groups/angelpodcast 
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/juliejancius

DRAWING WINNER

Leave a 5-star positive review of this show or Julie’s book, to be entered into a drawing to win a free session: https://theangelmedium.com/gift

+++++++++++

TRANSCRIPT

Julie Jancius: This is a preview from our angel story today.

Warren Kozak: And I took out my phone and I got some pictures of our daughter. And I hold it up to this insect and the eyes widen for each one. And I’m thinking, well, maybe it’s a reaction to the light or something, but wow. Right?

Julie Jancius: Yeah. Ah, yeah.

Warren Kozak: And it didn’t fly away. It did not fly away.

Julie Jancius: Hello, beautiful souls. You’re listening to the Angels and Awakening podcast. I’m your host and author, Julie Jancius. Did you know that you can listen to this show everywhere podcasts are found? It’s true. Now I have three free gifts just for you. First gift, I give away a new reading each week to a person who’s left a five star positive review of this show, then submitted it to me using the contact form@theangelmedium.com. backslash contact I hope I’m calling your number next. Second gift if you’d like a new daily angel message, join me on Insta at angelpodcast. Third free gift if you’d like to know the name of one of your guardian angels so that you can work with them even more closely, go to the homepage of my website, theangelmedium.com, and submit your contact info at the very top. I’ll email you back personally with the name of one of your Angels. Okay, as we begin the show, I want you to feel the presence of your Angels surrounding you. And just know that the loving, positive messages you resonate with today are messages for you from your Angels and loved ones on the other side. Hello, beautiful souls. Welcome back to the Angels and Awakening podcast. I’m your host and author, Julie Jancius. And today we have journalist Warren Kozak with us. His new book, waving Goodbye, Life after Loss, tells the story of his journey after his wife passed away. Warren, I hate to be here under these circumstances, but I know you’re going to help so many people today with what you have to say. So thank you for taking time to be here.

Warren Kozak: Thank you, Julie. I hope this helps. And I thank you for all the work you’ve done helping people as well.

Julie Jancius: Thank you. Yeah, I have to tell you, sometimes spirit is with me in advance of these interviews. And I was sitting in my living room with my husband and our two little dogs, and I know that we’re here for a long time in this life, but it goes by like snap of a finger just so fast. And I heard this voice come in and say, when you lose your spouse, you lose your home. And I instantaneously knew that that doesn’t mean the roof over your head, your property. It means this sense of belonging, connection, the safety, the security that you have with your partner. And I’ll just say, too, I don’t think because my parents got divorced, I was very keen on marriage. But I’ve been married now for almost 18 years, and my partner is just the love of my life and my best friend. And he has shown me why marriage is so valuable, and he’s helped me come home to myself. And I can’t imagine, Warren, what you’ve been through and what so many listeners have been through in losing your partner. I just wonder if you can start by telling us some of your story.

Warren Kozak: Sure. I’ll start by saying, I never expected to be talking about this. I never expected that this would happen to me, this bad things happen to other people. And I also just looked at the tables and I thought, well, okay, men go first. so I made sure that my wife and daughter were well taken, would be well taken care of with insurance and things like that. And then suddenly, here I am, a widower, never expecting to be, and a single father. Something else I wasn’t expecting, let me tell you. I’m trying to think where we should start on this journey. I made some really dumb mistakes early in my life. Things just didn’t seem to work with different people. And I was always hopeful. I was always hopeful. And then what I write in the book is that one day I was asked the most mundane question you can possibly think of. a friend said, you want to meet someone? And I said, yeah, sure. And I was thinking

00:05:00

Warren Kozak: another wasted evening, and his wife made a beautiful dinner. And I got there first. Here’s a lesson to everyone listening. I was even thinking of not going, of canceling at the last minute because the weather was lousy. It had been a long, tough day, and I knew that it was going to be a waste of time. But I went anyway because I thought, you know, out of obligation. And they went to the bother of making dinner. I went to their apartment. I got there first, and in walked Lisa. And I tried throughout the evening not to stare at her eyes. You know, I didn’t want her to think I was. I mean, they were the most gorgeous blue eyes I’ve ever seen. So these two couples at dinner were having a really interesting conversation. And then all of a sudden, we realized, it’s like 1130, it’s a school night. And we thanked them, and we went out, and all of a sudden, we’re standing waiting for the elevator in the vestibule, and we don’t have the other couple to back us up anymore. And there’s that awkward pause, and we kind of look at each other, and to break that awkward silence, I said, well, that went rather well. You want to get married? And she just looked at me like I was crazy. And she didn’t know what to say. Later, she said, I thought you seemed okay, but when you said that, I wasn’t sure. When she got into the cab to go back to her apartment, she said, you know, goodbye. And, she said good night. And she meant goodbye. She didn’t think she would see me again. But then when she told the story to her friends, they said, well, maybe you ought to give this guy another chance. It sounds like he’s got a sense of humor, too. But here’s the thing. Here’s the question, Julie. I never said that to anyone. 4 hours after meeting them. Where did that come from? Yeah, I was trying to make a joke, but I don’t think it was just a joke. I think there was something else that was going on. And within a year, we were married, and our daughter was on the way. And it was the most spectacular part of my life. She was the most spectacular part of my life. And we just had this great time. And we were also very committed to our daughter raising her. It was. The three of us were a really good combination. And when our daughter was 15 years old and a sophomore in high school, Lisa got sick. And, it was a rare cancer. and it was a terrible downhill journey over four years. And then she passed away in 2018. By the way, I can also tell you I made a decision. The doctors, and she was in and out of hospitals, and I would be with her all the time in those hospitals. Near the end, the doctors and the palliative people came out and said, you have two choices now. In the most benign possible terms, they said, we are now at the stage where we just can make her as comfortable as possible. And you know what that means. So I had two choices. I could take her to a hospice hospital and. Or I could bring her home. And I was very. I knew what I was going to do before, even though I saw the hospice hospital, and they were lovely people. I brought her home because I thought, no, you use the term home. This was our home. This is where we raised our daughter. This is where we were a family. And I thought that was the right thing to do. And that is one decision I’m very pleased that I made. I thought she should be here at the end, yeah.

Julie Jancius: You write to those around me, my friends, my colleagues, even my daughter. I appear normal, but in one fundamental way. I am not the old me left with my wife. I am not sure who this new person is. I am still evolving. But I will tell you this with absolute certainty. I am not the same person I was before my wife died on January 1, 2018. I think that so many people listening can relate, and so many people listening are empaths and know that one day we’re going to experience this as well. And I’ve heard people describe it before, mothers who have lost children, that it’s like a part of your heart is missing and or even dragging behind you, and you just keep walking forward, but it’s never the same. And I wonder, you know, we’re sitting here together over six years later. Looking back, I’m sure hindsight is 2020. Do you still feel the same now, or do you feel in your journey that you’ve. What, was your healing process?

Warren Kozak: Good question. And it’s an important question. I never expected to write this book. I certainly could not write the book in the first year or two years or third year, but five years out, I looked at my diary. Do you keep a diary, by any chance?

Julie Jancius: My mom’s always told me to, but I’ve got multiple all over because I can’t stick with 200 ADHD. But I got to get better at that.

Warren Kozak: So I was covering

00:10:00

Warren Kozak: up, a presidential election. Many elections passed, and I didn’t know what city I was in. So just to keep track of the city, I started jotting it down, and then it became a habit. And I’ve been keeping a diary for most of my adult life. Five years after Lisa passed away, for some reason, and maybe it was to connect with her again, because it was the last time I saw her. I read the diary from the last, I’d, say, five months of her life. And then what happened shortly after, and I was reminded of a lot of things that I probably buried on purpose. I didn’t want to think about those days. They were pretty difficult. And I saw an email from a friend that I actually put into the book, and that triggered a conversation with him, a friend who also lost his wife over 50 years ago before, and has had a very successful life and remarried and has had, a wonderful family. But he said it never went away, and there were times when he couldn’t. He thought he was depressed. And a, friend who was a psychiatrist said, you’re not depressed, you’re sad. And why is he sad that even though everything went his way, that the loss of his first wife had never left him? It was very powerful, and you can’t cover these things up. Same thing with, I think, gis who come back from war situations. If you pretend like nothing happened and bury it, it’s going to rise up. It’s going to come up in different ways. So I started writing it. I’ve written a couple of other books. The other books took years. This one just kind of poured out of me very quickly. And the reason I wrote the book was because right after Lisa died, I looked for any kind of. And people dropped off books, and most of them were written by psychologists, psychiatrists, and they were written in a very academic style. And my brain was just gone out to lunch, right after she died. And that’s actually something else that fascinated me, Julie, because up until the moment of her death, I was able to take care of her. The doctors, the hospitals, our daughter, who was in high school and then, starting college. And I have a job, a day job, and I was doing that remotely, and I was able to do all those things really well. After she died, I lost my concentration. I could not read. And this is not uncommon. I mean, maybe these books help other people. They didn’t help me. And what I did now is I wrote this book. You can see it’s a little book, it’s not huge. And it’s written in, short paragraphs, short chapters for people right after they lose someone, specifically a spouse. And the numbers are just going to grow. I think you saw there are about three and a half million widowers. Eleven and a half million widows. We make up 6% of the population. And that number is going to skyrocket as the baby boomers take their leave. And it is. You know what? We’re such a divided people right now, and this is the one issue that. See, it doesn’t matter if you’re on the left or the right, Democrat, Republican, doesn’t your race, your religion, none of that matters. It’s going to impact everyone sooner or later, sadly. And that. That kind of breaks my heart.

Julie Jancius: Yeah, me too. Ready for a little getaway that completely resets your energy? We’re hosting a live in person spiritual retreat called a whole new you. It’s the weekend of October 4 in Oakbrook, Illinois. This spiritual retreat is all about your own personal healing and growth, reconnecting with yourself, learning to connect with your Angels. And I’m going to talk about all new Angels that I’ve never talked about. Anywhere before, and you’re going to leave with more personal peace, purpose, clarity and confidence than ever before. Learn more and see the itinerary@theangelmedium.com. backslash retreat that’s theangelmedium.com retreat. Links are in the show notes and friend, I cannot wait to meet you and hug you in person. There’s so many ways that I want to go with this, but one thing that kept sticking out to me is that as I’ve been running this show for the last five years, I see so many women who’ve lost their husbands who come through and write books, and I think it’s so important because I haven’t seen this from the male perspective before, but you have so much heart. I

00:15:00

Julie Jancius: just wonder if you’re speaking to men as well or just, people who’ve lost their spouses in general. Are you speaking at all with this? Because I’m sure if you are, people would love to come see you.

Warren Kozak: I have no speaking engagements planned as yet, but a lot of podcasts and I have been receiving a lot of emails from my website. That’s one way to contact me. And they’re pretty even. They’re from both men and women. And basically what most of them are saying is, we thought this was just us, and thank you for telling us that. We thought we were alone in these feelings. And obviously, you know, we’re not alone. It happens, you know, everyone goes through this.

Julie Jancius: Yeah, we’ll talk about some of that. And first we’ll, we’ll put your website at the end of this too. But also for people who are like, I need to go find this Warren right now and send them an email. what is the website so that people can head over there to.

Warren Kozak: It’s pretty simple. Warren kozak.com k o z a K. Warren kozak.com.

Julie Jancius: Perfect. So when you talk about like, am I, is everybody feeling this way? Or I thought I was just feeling this way. Sometimes I describe grief as feeling as if you’re under 30ft of water and you can’t really hear clearly. You can’t think clearly. I get that. I used to get that on stage too, before I would go speak just that complete mind blank. And you know that you’re trying to get to information within your mind and recall, but you just can’t pull it through. And sometimes that lasts six months, sometimes it lasts longer. How did you come through that time? That’s that where you just feel like you’re under so much water.

Warren Kozak: When it first happened, I assumed this was going to be me for the rest of my life, because the person that created the issue in the first place was not going to come back through the front door. So it would never be solved, it would never be fixed, and this would be me for the rest of my life. Here is the good news. It isnt me for the rest of my life. It does ease up, and it eased up a little bit after the first year, a little bit more after the second year. I want to jump back to the friend I mentioned earlier, who had the great successful marriage after he lost his wife. He said something. He said, everyone handles grief in a different way, and it’s like our fingerprints, no two are, alike. Everyone has individual fingerprints, and everyone dealing with grief will deal with it on their own, in their own way. All I can say is, this is what worked for me. I think, I always say putting on my socks every morning and just going out and going to work. And I’m also a father, so I needed to be the responsible adult, and I needed to be there for our daughter who lost her mother. And I will also say, although we always had a very close relationship, it has grown much closer and we are, I’m very fortunate. She went through college and she works not far from me. And, I live in New York City, she lives in Brooklyn, and we see each other at least twice a week. In fact, after the podcast, she’s going to be coming over and I can’t wait to see her. But one day, and I write this in the book, you saw it, I was walking down Madison Avenue and it was one of those gorgeous fall days, and in fact, the New Yorkers were smiling. You don’t see that too often. And people were just happy because it was such a beautiful day. And I had, my earpods. Airpods? Airpods in my ear and I was listening to the most gorgeous piece of music, and then I kind of stopped and I thought, wow, I’m happy. I am happy to be alive. I’m just enjoying this incredible day. How lucky am I? And I never thought I would feel that way again. I mean, it wasn’t any, any great, you know, I didn’t win a lottery. I didn’t, you know, it was, it was just walking down the street and enjoying this beautiful day.

Julie Jancius: Is it a place where you get to where you just feel that you come back to your own energy and those deep waves of grief have kind of released and you know that you might not ever be whole again, but you’re going to be okay.

Warren Kozak: That is the best definition I’ve ever heard. That’s exactly how it was for me. And it’s how it is. That’s not to say I don’t get pulled back sometimes and I don’t feel, you know, and sometimes I don’t even understand why. I don’t know if there’s some anniversary or something happened at this particular time, something will come up and just kind of drag me down again, but it’s much shorter. I also talked about crying. I never

00:20:00

Warren Kozak: cried much throughout my life. And I thought, I wondered if there was something wrong with me. And then I just made up for it right after she died. And I would. I would just start crying in the most embarrassing places on the subway. I started wearing, dark glasses, like those creepy guys, you know, that wear dark glasses on the subway. And, Or I was on the elliptical, in the gym, or just walking down the street. And that started to lessen up a lot. That started. Oh, there was another. I have. We have a family home in Wisconsin on a lake. And I would be swimming. And one day I was swimming, in that first summer right after she passed away, and I started crying. And that is such a stupid thing to do with your head underwater, you know, so. And then I started laughing, which is equally stupid. Right.

Julie Jancius: No, I totally get it. I totally get it. Well, and have you ever heard of this? Because I thought that this was fascinating. The first time that I’ve heard of it is mental mapping, or spatial mapping, that when a person passes away, you always have this mental map. there’s a scientist, and I can give you her name after this, but she studied it, specifically with grief and how, you have a person pass away, you’ve always got these mental maps within your mind. So if I’m here in the house right now, I know my husband is over at school over there. My daughter is at school over there. If I’m driving to the grocery store, I have this mental map that is subconscious within my mind that takes me to the grocery store and not the gym. And when you lose the person that you’re close to, there’s a part of that mental map that has to reorganize because you can’t find them energetically within this mental map anymore. And I found that with my dad, that even though he and I weren’t talking when he passed, I always had that mental map of he’s there. We’re going to fix things before, you know, time gets too far and we’ll come back together and things are going to be okay. But then when he wasn’t here anymore, not only does it feel like you just got punched in the stomach and you’re under that 30ft of water, you can’t find them. Like you just, they’re not here, so you can’t reach out to them. But I think it’s, it’s kind of cool in your journalistic work, you might like it as well. I. She can say it better than I can. The scientist.

Warren Kozak: That’s fascinating. I did not know this, but it makes sense. It makes sense to me. For sure.

Julie Jancius: Yeah, for sure. So why did you choose to write this book? Because writing a book can be a big endeavor.

Warren Kozak: I mentioned, I think, that the books that were given to me right after Lisa died were incomprehensible to me because my brain wasn’t, I had lost my sense of concentration and they were written in this very scientific academic style that I couldn’t even stand when I was in college, let alone after this. And I wrote the book for people. I thought there should be a book out there in just plain English, frankly. So that was one reason. Here’s another story. I had a wonderful friend who shared the same birthday, and she was exactly 30 years older than me. She was a nun, a former nun. She had been an educator and was the head of a very big catholic girls school. After Lisa died, a mutual friend had a small birthday party for us. It was about two months later, I was turning, what, about 67, 66? And Elizabeth was turning 97, 96, whatever. And someone, it was just a small number of people. And someone said, elizabeth, so what have you learned in your 96 years? And without missing a beat, she said, when you help others, you feel better about yourself. That has always stayed with me. So I was thinking, if I can help someone with this, and as I mentioned, I’ve received emails from people who said, God, we thought we were alone. This is really, it makes me feel better and it makes me feel like maybe something positive came out of something negative, something terrible. so I guess that’s why I wrote the book, plain and simple.

Julie Jancius: I love it. I love it. And I know we’ve talked about a lot already, but when it comes to the writing process, oftentimes you find things that you weren’t even looking for. Like the writing takes on a life of its own and you have these big aha moments. M what are like the three key takeaways that you would really want people to walk away from this podcast knowing about healing through the grief process, the first one without.

Warren Kozak: And once again, I have to say we are all different and it hits people at a different time. But the first thing I would say to someone who, especially someone who has just lost someone and is that it will get better. And people said

00:25:00

Warren Kozak: that to me, and I didn’t believe it. I didn’t believe it. in those first months, it will get better. And I don’t think you ever lose the person. I don’t think the person disappears from your psyche, from your memory. That person will always be there. I think it’s more that we figure out a way to live with it. And everything I’m saying, I’m listening to myself and I’m thinking, this is what people told me and I didn’t believe them. So what, I would say is, take it from a guy who has gone through it. I didn’t think it would happen to me, and it has. So that would be the biggest takeaway. I think, as I said, being the responsible adult helped. I am very fortunate. I think gratitude, I think gratitude took over and was able to overcome the other thoughts. So at the end of the book, I realized how lucky I was. I had a great, great marriage. Not all of my friends have had great marriages, I’m sorry to say. I had a child. We had a child together. I know people that are struggling to have children and can’t, and it’s a very difficult situation. Look how lucky I am. I had a, fantastic wife. I have a child. And I need to say this. I have a job that gives me tremendous satisfaction and the worlds greatest boss, I might point out, I have a boss who travels a lot. I would travel with him. And when Lisa got sick, he said, and this is long before COVID he, said, I want you to work remotely. I dont want you traveling with me. Im going to be too nervous if something happens to her while youre with me. So I was able to be with her for the last three years of her life. I mean, how incredibly lucky am I for that, for all those things? So I was thinking, if I’m not grateful, that’s arrogance. And I have to put the gratitude over the loss. And most days it works. Not every day, not every day. Some days it still really stings, but the moments are quick. I mentioned the crying. The crying is now much more. It’s rare. And when it comes on, it’s like a sneeze. You kind of feel it coming on and the duration is about the same. You know, it’s all comes out. And then I just move on. And it’s usually brought out, by the way, by, kindness, someone’s kindness or music. Gorgeous piece of music.

Julie Jancius: Beautiful. Is that gratitude that something that you experience naturally, or was it a thought process to get there? I know that you had said earlier, you know, you expected yourself to pass first and your wife to pass second. And you talked about, too, how we’re going to experience this more with baby boomers. Was there any survivor’s guilt? I guess, in a way, of, why am I here and she’s not?

Warren Kozak: Julie. That happened every night. I would stay in the hospital with her until late. I was with her most. Most of the day, and I would leave late at night. And, I remember one of the things that always stays with me is as I would walk out, the night nurses would look at me and remember that, you know, you would just. And they would. You know, there was one that I was always. She would always ask, you know, am I eating? And. And you could see it in their faces, the concern. And I would give them a forced smile, you know, to get. And then I would get outside, and I would breathe in this fresh air after being in a hospital with all the smells of a hospital. And I would be so grateful to be gulping in. And it was all four seasons, I remember it would be in winter, it would be in summer. And I was so grateful that I was able to do this, but at the same time, I felt terribly guilty because she was still there. And then I would wonder, why am I the one that’s able to walk out? Why isn’t she walking out? Why am I not the one in that hospital bed? So, yeah, that was definitely guilt. And it’s something we have no control over. That was just what happened.

Julie Jancius: I think it’s so important to point that out because there often is this progression of thought process, and I know that, you know, if my. The same had happened to, my husband, and I. I wouldn’t want him to feel guilty at all. I would want him to be there for my daughter. I would want him to feel that gratitude. I would want him to find a way to go on and be happy and find somebody else, because want him to live a long, happy life here. So I think that that’s such a beautiful message of bringing that around to that gratitude.

Warren Kozak: I will point. There are also some funny things in the book. You know, it’s life. And funny things happened. Funny things would happen. And Lisa would be, you know, in the hospital bed, looking at maybe, at her iPad I would be working on my computer next to her, and. But she would sometimes just say things out of the blue. And one day she said, you know, it is said that if you had a really

00:30:00

Warren Kozak: good marriage, it’ll be easier to go into another relationship. And I understood exactly what she was saying in the, kindest, most gracious way. She was giving me permission, her own permission. And then I was the one that couldn’t deal with it. And I said, I don’t want to discuss it. And then I realized that it was not the right answer. And then what I did was, I turned it around. I said, okay, if something happens to me, do I want you going into a convent? No, that wouldn’t be right. especially since we’re jewish. But, I said, I guess it’s okay. Yeah, you can move on. But there’s no way you can have sex in the boathouse out at the lake. That’s my turf. And if you try that lady, I’m going to throw lightning bolts at both of you. And I got her to laugh. And that made me feel good. That made me feel good. the other thing she said was, I know you. You’re going to save every dime for Claire. That’s our daughter. She said, spend some money on yourself. Go out and buy some new clothes. I haven’t been able to do that yet so easily. We had a very different attitude towards money, and I was very careful. And she loved buying things. She was, you know, she bought beautiful clothes. I. Now I feel terrible that I just loved seeing her all dressed up. But I never. I would complain sometimes about, you know, you’re spending so much money. Anyway, it was. And that’s a. It’s a good thing in a marriage, too, I think, to have, you know, to bring in different views.

Julie Jancius: Absolutely. It’s been six years, Warren. You gotta go get some new clothes. My husband’s the same way. He’ll, I’ll joke with him, and he’ll go, I could get 15 more years out of this shirt. And I was like, no, you can’t. It’s got a hole in the sleeve.

Warren Kozak: sometimes I can totally relate to your husband.

Julie Jancius: Oh, my God. Sometimes I actually have to take scissors to things or, like, put it in the garbage where food is going to go on top of it so that he can’t pull it out.

Warren Kozak: I love that. You know, there was another story that I put in the book that I want to tell, and it was, near. Near the end of her life. I put her in a private there’s a. There was a private area of the hospital, and you have to pay extra for it so the patient can have a single room. And they had an odd billing system where you had to pay every day. Why they did it this way, I don’t know. So I would. And the business office of the hospital is open 24 hours. I would stay until late. I knew the people because I would be coming in every day, and they would ask, how’s your wife doing? And I give them the card. And that was that. One day, my boss asked if I could come into work for a meeting. He needed me for something. And I said, sure, absolutely. And I went down to the business office on my way out. So this was earlier than normal. And there was someone else at the desk. And he passes over these three forms, and he said, you sign these three. And I said, I’ve never had to sign any papers before. is this something new? And he said, we always do it this way. We don’t release the body until you sign all three papers. And I said, my wife has cancer. She’s not doing so well. But I just left her about two minutes ago, and I’m pretty sure she was still breathing. And the guy just looked ashen, and he said, I am so sorry. It’s just that the only people that ever come in here with suits and ties on are undertakers. I just burst out laughing and I said, thank you. You have just given me the first good laugh I’ve had in about a month. Thank you for that. So, you know, things happen, and you have to, you know, the little quirky things in life and the little ironies, and I still get a kick out of them.

Julie Jancius: That’s beautiful. That’s beautiful. It reminds me of. There’s a part in sex and the City, the movie, where, Carrie thinks she’s never gonna breathe again after she got stood up at the altar. And, something funny happens in Mexico. And she’s like, okay, I’m gonna be okay. When it comes to you and your wife. Now, have you gotten any signs from her? Oftentimes on the show, we. We talk about signs. And I know your journalist background. I’m really practical person myself, but I believe that they communicate with us from the other side, and they want us to know that they’re okay.

Warren Kozak: So I am, the world’s most practical guy. I will say I don’t believe in any of this, although I’m not sure. I don’t know. And then one day, I’m sitting out at the lake this is our family home. This is the most important physical place in the world to me, where I’m happiest. And I’m sitting down by the lake on. We have this kind of rocker chair. And this really weird. Wasn’t a dragonfly. It was, like a dragonfly, but it was an insect I’ve never seen before. And it sits right on my knee, and I’m looking at it, and it’s looking at me. And usually if you know that, you know, just, you know, you jigger, and the thing will fly away. This thing doesn’t move. And the other thing about it was it had

00:35:00

Warren Kozak: these huge eyes, and my wife had these incredible blue eyes. If you’ll see a picture of her, you know, in the book or. Well, actually, that’s not color, but on the website you can see it. And. And I’m looking at this insect looking at me, and then I’m thinking, ah, okay, so you probably want to see Claire. And I took out my phone, and I got some pictures of our daughter. And I hold it up to this insect, and the eyes widen for each one. And I’m thinking, well, maybe it’s a reaction to the light or something, but wow. Right? And it didn’t fly away. It did not fly away. And I went through, like, about three, four pictures of Claire so she could see him if that was her.

Julie Jancius: Amazing. Amazing. I don’t know where your lake house is in Wisconsin, but I know the just vibe of Midwest Lake house. we used to have a lake house up in Powers Lake, and, it was actually in the family on my mom’s side, but it was my dad’s favorite place. And we were up there one day because now you can rent it on Airbnb. So we went up, I got to take my daughter up to see where I spent my childhood summers here and there. And I said, dad, I know that you’re here with me. I can feel you here with me. Send me a sign. And so we went to rent a boat, and it said Harris on the side, which was my m maiden name. And, I go, oh, that’s too easy. You know, all these boats say, Harris, over here, so send me something bigger. Well brought up.

Warren Kozak: You are fussy. That wasn’t good enough for you, huh?

Julie Jancius: I know. No, but he sent me, like, the best sign. So, we brought up our two dogs, got two little shit zoos, and my little lulu is just a runner. You open up the screen door, and she’ll just bolt. So she bolted outside and she didn’t even have her collar on, which totally freaked me out. So I’m running after her, and these two ladies are just walking on the street and they kind of catch her. And, I. So I go over, I get her, and I look up and big bold letters on this woman’s t shirt says, harris. Harris. theater. I go, I’ve never seen a Harris t shirt before in my entire life. So I go, okay, thank you, dad. But, yeah, I believe that those signs just keep us connected. Little winks from heaven and that, Yeah, I keep hearing to tell you, stay open to him, Warren. And tell your daughter to stay open to him, too.

Warren Kozak: Fair enough. And after that dragonfly, or it wasn’t even a drag fly, I should probably look it up and see if I can remember after that incident that. Yeah, there was something going on there. and I’m glad I had the, wherewithal to, And I had my phone next to me so I could show her the pictures. See, show her the pictures. So, the dragonfly, by the way, the summer house, I grew up there. it was my, my grandparents bought it before the war, before world war two. My dad, my uncles went off to the war. They came back. My dad was married to my mom already, and my grandparents were in one cottage, we were in another. And Lisa loved it. And when it came, when I inherited it, we fixed it up and she loved it as much as I did. So I do feel her there a lot in the boathouse where I didn’t want her to have sex with anyone else. Right.

Julie Jancius: Giving away some secrets there, Warren? that’s awesome. your book, waving goodbye. Life after loss is just such a must read for anybody who’s lost somebody. And it’s just a beautiful story if somebody is looking for a summer read that’s going to touch the heart. Warren, where can people find you? Send you emails and, keep in touch with you. We’ll put all those links below to where they can buy the book.

Warren Kozak: The book is simple. Waving goodbye on Amazon. And you can contact me at warren kozak.com dot. There’s a little, Tell us a little bit about my background. You’ll see pictures of Lisa and Claire, and you will see a place, for contacting me and happy. Happy to hear from anyone.

Julie Jancius: Beautiful. Thank you so much, Warren, for this beautiful work and for sharing your heart with the world.

Warren Kozak: Julie, thank you very much. And thank you for everything you’re doing.

Julie Jancius: Friends, I need your help reaching as many people as possible. If you’d like to support this podcast and help us spread more hope to the world. Please book a session with me, join my angel membership or take my angel Reiki school. What’s the difference? If you’d like to know what messages, your Angels and loved ones have for you, you’ll want to book a session with me. The angel membership is all about your own personal spiritual healing. The membership takes you on a spiritual journey that teaches you how to create

00:40:00

Julie Jancius: your own heaven on earth. And the angel Reiki school is for those who want to get certified in mediumship. Angel messages and energy healing all at once. These are three ways you can help us share a message of hope and love with more people than ever before. Register for one or all three@theangelmedium.com that’s theangelmedium.com dot. Now let’s pray together. As we do. I want you to pray in a way where you feel as though everything you want for yourself and the world has already come true and you’re giving thanks. Why? Because this is the best way to manifest. So let’s begin. God Universe Source thank you. We’re so grateful that you’ve blessed this world with calm and peace for all. This calm and peace has spread like ripples, soothing the hearts of every Soul. Thank you for opening our hearts to abundance, allowing each of us to live our most authentic life and helping us to create our own heaven on earth. We thank you for the love and deep heart to heart connection that surrounds us every day in our relationships. We thank you for the abundance of health and aliveness we feel radiating from every cell in our and our, family bodies. Thank you for the gift of walking this life with us and guiding us every step of the way through your messages. We hear you through our own intuition and we feel you walking right by our sides and we overflow with gratitude. Thank you for financial abundance and abundance of opportunities and miracles, blessings and prosperity in every way. We know that you want us to succeed so that we can show others how you want them to succeed, too. Thank you for the boundless love, kindness, Empathy and compassion that binds us all together. Thank you for the laughter, fun moments of pure delight that fill us every day, especially today. God Universe Source thank you for blessing us beyond measure and allowing us to use our souls gifts, talents, skills and abilities to serve the world. We love you. I love you. And in this we pray. Amen. Friends, we’re working on some pretty major things over here and if you wouldn’t mind saying a little prayer that these things come to fruition. If they’re God’s will, we’d so appreciate it. And please add a little prayer in for any specific thing you need right now, too. Have a beautiful, blessed day, and don’t forget to submit your contact info@theangelmedium.com. if you’d like me to channel the name of one of your Angels for you, sending you peace, bliss and many blessings.